one of my favorite posts of all time:

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Posted by Shirenne on July 31, 2000 at 18:48:01:

> Kastellyn made this fun. Who says Battle has to be nothing but blood and guts and mindless grunting?

> For all those of you who think people imm because they send notes, and for no other reason, read on...


> Kastellyn tells you 'But I will still listen as best I can...now what is on yer mind?'

> You tell Kastellyn 'Well, I've spoken with one member of the village. Saison said I'd need to speak with two.'

> Kastellyn tells you 'Well, an' I am yer man! Who was th' first?'

> You tell Kastellyn 'Nesam.. a man after my own heart, yes?'

> Kastellyn tells you 'Aye! An' a worthy fighter!'

> You tell Kastellyn 'I'm sure.. I hope I have the opportunity to see him work at some point, or at least to spar with him, yes?'

> You tell Kastellyn 'Well, as to what's on my mind... the village, obviously. Nesam asked me about courage and honor, and about magical items and such.'

> Kastellyn tells you 'Don' know ifn' yer would want t' tussle wi' that one.'

> Kastellyn tells you 'An' that is what he should ask about..'

> You tell Kastellyn 'I am confident in my ability. When I meet one more than my match, I will congratulate him on a fine showing and start practicing more.'

> Kastellyn tells you 'An' he takes all th' easy questions fer himself...'

> You tell Kastellyn 'I would hope that a bard of your magnitude and magnificence would be able to come up with more complex questions than a simple warrior like myself or Nesam. We take the easy questions because it is what we know, yes?'

> Kastellyn tells you 'Well, then, if th' easy questions is all yer know, how yer goin' t' answer th' hard ones? An' don' think that all warriors are not smart....*heh*'

> You tell Kastellyn 'But you do believe yourself more intelligent than the lot of them, yes? At least, I would hope so. Men do not take up the spear and sword because they've a mind to rival a bard's.'

> Kastellyn tells you 'Sure an' me intellect dwarfs even that of th' Mighty Thror!'

> You tell Kastellyn 'I will answer your questions with what I know, yes? I can answer hard questions. Come up with them, though?'

> Kastellyn tells you 'An' I will...jus' let me think o' some...'

> You tell Kastellyn 'heh'

> You tell Kastellyn 'Think quickly, my friend. My beliefs are being shaken to their core.'

> You tell Kastellyn 'If a bard cannot speak circles around me, what is this world coming to?'

> Kastellyn tells you '*heh* Urm...what is yer favorite color? Now thin' about this one, they are psychological questions.'

> You tell Kastellyn 'Blue, yes?'

> Kastellyn tells you 'An' why is it blue?'

> You tell Kastellyn 'The sky. The sky is blue, and I enjoy it, yes? I would like to fly; often, I wish I were an eagle. I make do with my fur and claws, though, yes?'

> Kastellyn tells you 'Th' sky, huh?'

> You tell Kastellyn 'Yes, yes.'

> Kastellyn tells you 'So, yer would like t' fly...like an' eagle...like a transmuter eagle?'

> You tell Kastellyn 'An eagle is an eagle, true. But a transmuter cannot fool my eyes any more than yours, yes? The day I accidentally take a transmuter for a bird and envy him is the day I pluck my eyes out.'

> You tell Kastellyn 'The magi... not creative enough to make birds true to life.'

> You tell Kastellyn 'The feathers are usually wrong, entirely.'

> Kastellyn tells you 'Good answer...'

> You tell Kastellyn 'I speak what I know, yes?'

> Kastellyn tells you 'Well, good answer, but it was wrong. Yer favorite color is not really blue.'

> You tell Kastellyn 'Blast. Foiled again, yes?'

> You tell Kastellyn 'What is it?'

> Kastellyn tells you 'Blue is th' color o' th' ocean, an' yer fears th' ocean like th' dickens.'

> Kastellyn tells you 'Yer favorite color is...red! Th' color o' mage blood...'

> You tell Kastellyn 'A favorite response, I am sure... but the magi I know have blood which runs thick and black, cold and dead.'

> You tell Kastellyn 'I know no red-blooded mages, yes?'

> Kastellyn tells you 'Ah' yer passed th' trick question...'

> You tell Kastellyn '...besides, I do not 'fear' the ocean, per se.'

> You tell Kastellyn 'No need to fear a large bit of what I drink, yes?'

> You tell Kastellyn 'I merely do not choose to douse myself in it.'

> Kastellyn tells you 'yer drinks th' mage blood?'

> You tell Kastellyn 'Not unless the ocean is made of mage blood. I was speaking of water, the ocean you said I fear, yes?'

> Kastellyn tells you '*grumble* Must have been distracted...so yer drinks th' ocean?'

> You tell Kastellyn 'I drink water.'

> You tell Kastellyn 'And the ocean is no more than water.'

> You tell Kastellyn 'I do not fear such a thing, yes?'

> Kastellyn tells you 'well, an' it is a bit o' salt t' tell th' truth.'

> You tell Kastellyn 'Salt? In the ocean? Salt is for cooking, yes?'

> Kastellyn tells you 'Yer didn't know there was salt in th' ocean??'

> You tell Kastellyn 'If you think there's salt in the ocean, you may have had too much to drink, yes?'

> Kastellyn tells you 'Now don' yer start tryin' t' talk circles around me...!'

> You tell Kastellyn '...there is?'

> Kastellyn tells you 'Aye!'

> Kastellyn tells you 'an' yes, salt is fer cookin''

> You tell Kastellyn 'Why is there salt in the ocean? Bloody odd thing to put in flaming water, yes?'

> You tell Kastellyn 'It sounds like the work of .. I don't know who would put salt in the ocean.'

> Kastellyn tells you 'Hol' on fer jus' a second...r'

> ----

> Kastellyn tells you 'Now, where were we?'

> You tell Kastellyn 'We were talking about salt in the ocean, yes? Somewhere off the topic of the village, but it tends to happen.'

> Kastellyn tells you 'Yer was tellin' me yer favorite color was blue cause yer liked th' sky.'

> Kastellyn tells you 'Aha! Yer jus' thinks it is off th' topic!'

> Kastellyn tells you 'That is because me questions are so complex.'

> You tell Kastellyn 'Really?'

> Kastellyn tells you 'That yer jus' don' understand 'em all...but I learn from them, warrior, I do.'

> You tell Kastellyn 'I am impressed then, yes?'

> Kastellyn tells you 'An' yer should be, yer should.'

> You tell Kastellyn 'This is beyond my expectations for even a bard.'

> Kastellyn tells you 'Well, yer failed th' first one miserabley...lets see how yer does on th' second one.'

> You tell Kastellyn '*mutter*'

> Kastellyn tells you 'Now don' go gettin' discouraged.'

> Kastellyn tells you 'Some o' these don' have correct answers.'

> You tell Kastellyn 'Ask the second question; I will learn from my defeats as I have all my life, yes?'

> Kastellyn tells you 'ok...hol' on fer a second.'

> Kastellyn tells you 'yer is bein' patient...that is good.'

> ----

> Kastellyn tells you 'Ok...'

> Kastellyn tells you 'What do th' warders mean t' yer?'

> You tell Kastellyn 'The warders of what?'

> You tell Kastellyn 'Many things have warders, yes?'

> Kastellyn tells you 'Th' Sylvan Warders o' Thera!'

> You tell Kastellyn 'Those warders... what should they mean to me? They have a cause they think they can invest their lives in, they fight for something they think is important... more power to them.'

> You tell Kastellyn 'I simply don't happen to agree. Or to care one whit about nature, yes?'

> You tell Kastellyn 'A warder, to me, is any other person. Slightly more zealous about nature.'

> Kastellyn tells you 'Ok, so what ifn' a warder starts usin' magic in front o' yer?'

> You tell Kastellyn 'The wilds, and the Mother, and the Spirit, and... Pah. It's enough to put a warrior off his meal, yes?'

> Kastellyn tells you 'Does yer jus' slay 'em outright?'

> Kastellyn tells you 'An' spit on their corpse?'

> You tell Kastellyn 'Then I would do as I would for any other man using magic in front of me.'

> Kastellyn tells you 'An' grind yer heel on their guts?'

> Kastellyn tells you 'Or does yer try t' talk t' them an' get 'em t' stop usin' th' magic?'

> You tell Kastellyn 'I talk to men who use magic. Their ways can be repented, sometimes. If the man offends me, I will treat him as an honorless dog, yes?'

> Kastellyn tells you 'So yer would speak wi' 'em, an' tell 'em...what?'

> Kastellyn tells you 'Say I am a ranger of th' Sylvan Warders...'

> You tell Kastellyn 'An unrepenting mage is one of the most stubborn things on the planet, yes?'

> Kastellyn tells you 'An' yer jus' saw me wearin' one o' those embossed rings.'

> Kastellyn tells you 'Yer know th' rings right?'

> You tell Kastellyn 'I would tell you that you, as a ranger, have no need for magic or magical items. Your fighting abilities could carry you far, yes?'

> You tell Kastellyn 'Rid yourself of the ring, and forget you ever knew a spell.'

> You tell Kastellyn 'Practice with what the gods gave you instead, yes?'

> Kastellyn tells you 'An' I say, sure, mighty warrior o' th' village! I don' want yer t' beat me head in wi' yer mace, so here, I am takin' th' ring off!'

> Kastellyn tells you 'An' I take it off, an' give yer me best woodsy smile.'

> You tell Kastellyn 'That is well and good, yes?'

> Kastellyn tells you 'An' wave...'

> Kastellyn tells you 'yer tell me?'

> You tell Kastellyn 'Now drop it, and send it back where it came from?'

> Kastellyn tells you 'An' I tell yer, sure an' I will, but then one o' those accursed magic users can jus' go get it right away!!! I will keep it fer safekeepin', I will.'

> You tell Kastellyn 'Its taint on you will take hold eventually; it is best to rid yourself of the temptation and take the chance that some mage might take it. It will be plucked from their corpse soon enough.'

> You tell Kastellyn 'At worst, give it to me, and I will take care of it, yes?'

> Kastellyn tells you 'Alright...good answer fer that question. Now, it changes a bit.'

> Kastellyn tells you 'Yer sees Bob, yer warrior buddy in town, with his group o' an assassin an' one o' them sneaky thieves.'

> Kastellyn tells you 'An' Bob has th' same ring, or one that looks jus' like it.'

> Kastellyn tells you 'Now, lets pretend I am Bob, an' yer is...well, yer.'

> You tell Kastellyn 'The question has not changed, yes?'

> You tell Kastellyn 'Bob is no more to me than a warder in this respect; if he chooses to taint himself, he can be damned with the magi.'

> Kastellyn tells you 'Nope, same scenario, I am Bob th' Warrior, an' I have an embossed ring I am wearin'.'

> Kastellyn tells you 'So what does yer tell Bob? Or does yer jus' charge in t' battle an' take 'em out? An' his friends too?'

> Kastellyn tells you 'An' then spit on his corpse.'

> You tell Kastellyn 'If Bob were to refuse to remove the ring, I would ask that he fight me, yes? I would not soil his honor by attacking his group without provocation.'

> Kastellyn tells you 'An' grind yer heel in their guts an' whatnot.'

> You tell Kastellyn 'To do so would be to tell him and his friends that I have no respect for their abilities.'

> Kastellyn tells you 'Ok...good answer fer that one as well. I like yer...'

> Kastellyn tells you 'But don' be gettin' soft on me!'

> You tell Kastellyn 'I will not, yes?'

> Kastellyn tells you 'Now th' third part to this ever increasin' complex question.'

> You tell Kastellyn 'You boggle the mind, yes?'

> Kastellyn tells you 'Now I am, picture ifn' yer will, a simple bard, travelin' through th' wilds wi' one o' them embossed rings on me finger.'

> Kastellyn tells you 'An' yer stumbles upon me.'

> Kastellyn tells you 'In yer travels, practicin' on trolls an' whatnot.'

> Kastellyn tells you 'What does yer tell me?'

> Kastellyn tells you 'An' remember, I am now Bob th' Bard.'

> Kastellyn tells you '*chuckle*'

> You tell Kastellyn 'Ho there, bard.. do you realize the nature of that ring you wear, and that its taint seeps through your flesh this very moment?'

> You tell Kastellyn 'Best to remove it and destroy it, yes?'

> You tell Kastellyn 'You've no need for magical enhancement; your voice will carry you.'

> Kastellyn tells you 'Ok...I am taking it off, great warrior! Now I am putting it down on the ground. Now I am stepping away from it. Will you spare my life?'

> You tell Kastellyn 'I will, provided that you turn from this lie that is magic, yes? Use your own god-given skills and do not deprive yourself of honor.'

> Kastellyn tells you '*nod* Now what did I learn from askin' yer these questions?'

> You tell Kastellyn 'I do not know, yes? Your mind works in ways I cannot comprehend.'

> Kastellyn tells you 'An' be careful, fer this is th' actual question that matters.'

> You tell Kastellyn 'Ah, you mean me to answer? Very well..'

> You tell Kastellyn '(I had hoped it was rhetorical)'

> Kastellyn tells you 'Aye, I learn from yer answers, no matter what th' questions are.'

> Kastellyn tells you 'I could ask yer ifn' a tree falls in th' forest an' noone is about t' hear it...an' I would learn about th' way yer thinks.'

> You tell Kastellyn 'You learned that no man under the taint of magic is to be considered on different ground by myself, yes? I will treat the greatest Warder hero the same as the lowliest imperial thug, should he wear such a thing or use such magic, yes?'

> Kastellyn tells you 'Aye, but that is th' superficial part o' th' question. Th' easy answer.'

> Kastellyn tells you 'A fire giant would get that one...*heh*'

> You tell Kastellyn 'True enough.'

> Kastellyn tells you 'Think about what was common throughout all three scenarios...'

> You tell Kastellyn 'Now, now.. I am convinced of your intellectual supremacy, there is no need to rub it in, yes?'

> You tell Kastellyn 'What was common? The ring... myself, and compliance with my demands or death, yes?'

> Kastellyn tells you '*heh* I meant that in a good way, I did.'

> Kastellyn tells you 'Right on th' target!'

> Kastellyn tells you 'I learned that yer is a man who will think an' speak an' not jus' rush blindly into a fight.'

> Kastellyn tells you 'An' one who respects his enemies enough t' give 'em a chance t' learn.'

> You tell Kastellyn 'It is difficult to preserve honor when all you want is blood, yes?'

> Kastellyn tells you 'Am I right, is that how yer are?'

> You tell Kastellyn 'If it is off the mark, it is not by much, yes?'

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