Posted by Macheath on January 18:20:23, at 0PST:0:0:

Kastellyn made this fun. Who says Battle has to be nothing but blood and guts and mindless grunting?

For all those of you who think people imm because they send notes, and for no other reason, read on...

Kastellyn tells you 'But I will still listen as best I can...now what is on yer mind?'

You tell Kastellyn 'Well, I've spoken with one member of the village. Saison said I'd need to speak with two.'

Kastellyn tells you 'Well, an' I am yer man! Who was th' first?'

You tell Kastellyn 'Nesam.. a man after my own heart, yes?'

Kastellyn tells you 'Aye! An' a worthy fighter!'

You tell Kastellyn 'I'm sure.. I hope I have the opportunity to see him work at some point, or at least to spar with him, yes?'

You tell Kastellyn 'Well, as to what's on my mind... the village, obviously. Nesam asked me about courage and honor, and about magical items and such.'

Kastellyn tells you 'Don' know ifn' yer would want t' tussle wi' that one.'

Kastellyn tells you 'An' that is what he should ask about..'

You tell Kastellyn 'I am confident in my ability. When I meet one more than my match, I will congratulate him on a fine showing and start practicing more.'

Kastellyn tells you 'An' he takes all th' easy questions fer himself...'

You tell Kastellyn 'I would hope that a bard of your magnitude and magnificence would be able to come up with more complex questions than a simple warrior like myself or Nesam. We take the easy questions because it is what we know, yes?'

Kastellyn tells you 'Well, then, if th' easy questions is all yer know, how yer goin' t' answer th' hard ones? An' don' think that all warriors are not smart....*heh*'

You tell Kastellyn 'But you do believe yourself more intelligent than the lot of them, yes? At least, I would hope so. Men do not take up the spear and sword because they've a mind to rival a bard's.'

Kastellyn tells you 'Sure an' me intellect dwarfs even that of th' Mighty Thror!'

You tell Kastellyn 'I will answer your questions with what I know, yes? I can answer hard questions. Come up with them, though?'

Kastellyn tells you 'An' I will...jus' let me think o' some...'

You tell Kastellyn 'heh'

You tell Kastellyn 'Think quickly, my friend. My beliefs are being shaken to their core.'

You tell Kastellyn 'If a bard cannot speak circles around me, what is this world coming to?'

Kastellyn tells you '*heh* Urm...what is yer favorite color? Now thin' about this one, they are psychological questions.'

You tell Kastellyn 'Blue, yes?'

Kastellyn tells you 'An' why is it blue?'

You tell Kastellyn 'The sky. The sky is blue, and I enjoy it, yes? I would like to fly; often, I wish I were an eagle. I make do with my fur and claws, though, yes?'

Kastellyn tells you 'Th' sky, huh?'

You tell Kastellyn 'Yes, yes.'

Kastellyn tells you 'So, yer would like t' fly...like an' eagle...like a transmuter eagle?'

You tell Kastellyn 'An eagle is an eagle, true. But a transmuter cannot fool my eyes any more than yours, yes? The day I accidentally take a transmuter for a bird and envy him is the day I pluck my eyes out.'

You tell Kastellyn 'The magi... not creative enough to make birds true to life.'

You tell Kastellyn 'The feathers are usually wrong, entirely.'

Kastellyn tells you 'Good answer...'

You tell Kastellyn 'I speak what I know, yes?'

Kastellyn tells you 'Well, good answer, but it was wrong. Yer favorite color is not really blue.'

You tell Kastellyn 'Blast. Foiled again, yes?'

You tell Kastellyn 'What is it?'

Kastellyn tells you 'Blue is th' color o' th' ocean, an' yer fears th' ocean like th' dickens.'

Kastellyn tells you 'Yer favorite color is...red! Th' color o' mage blood...'

You tell Kastellyn 'A favorite response, I am sure... but the magi I know have blood which runs thick and black, cold and dead.'

You tell Kastellyn 'I know no red-blooded mages, yes?'

Kastellyn tells you 'Ah' yer passed th' trick question...'

You tell Kastellyn '...besides, I do not 'fear' the ocean, per se.'

You tell Kastellyn 'No need to fear a large bit of what I drink, yes?'

You tell Kastellyn 'I merely do not choose to douse myself in it.'

Kastellyn tells you 'yer drinks th' mage blood?'

You tell Kastellyn 'Not unless the ocean is made of mage blood. I was speaking of water, the ocean you said I fear, yes?'

Kastellyn tells you '*grumble* Must have been distracted...so yer drinks th' ocean?'

You tell Kastellyn 'I drink water.'

You tell Kastellyn 'And the ocean is no more than water.'

You tell Kastellyn 'I do not fear such a thing, yes?'

Kastellyn tells you 'well, an' it is a bit o' salt t' tell th' truth.'

You tell Kastellyn 'Salt? In the ocean? Salt is for cooking, yes?'

Kastellyn tells you 'Yer didn't know there was salt in th' ocean??'

You tell Kastellyn 'If you think there's salt in the ocean, you may have had too much to drink, yes?'

Kastellyn tells you 'Now don' yer start tryin' t' talk circles around me...!'

You tell Kastellyn '...there is?'

Kastellyn tells you 'Aye!'

Kastellyn tells you 'an' yes, salt is fer cookin''

You tell Kastellyn 'Why is there salt in the ocean? Bloody odd thing to put in flaming water, yes?'

You tell Kastellyn 'It sounds like the work of .. I don't know who would put salt in the ocean.'

Kastellyn tells you 'Hol' on fer jus' a second...r'

----

Kastellyn tells you 'Now, where were we?'

You tell Kastellyn 'We were talking about salt in the ocean, yes? Somewhere off the topic of the village, but it tends to happen.'

Kastellyn tells you 'Yer was tellin' me yer favorite color was blue cause yer liked th' sky.'

Kastellyn tells you 'Aha! Yer jus' thinks it is off th' topic!'

Kastellyn tells you 'That is because me questions are so complex.'

You tell Kastellyn 'Really?'

Kastellyn tells you 'That yer jus' don' understand 'em all...but I learn from them, warrior, I do.'

You tell Kastellyn 'I am impressed then, yes?'

Kastellyn tells you 'An' yer should be, yer should.'

You tell Kastellyn 'This is beyond my expectations for even a bard.'

Kastellyn tells you 'Well, yer failed th' first one miserabley...lets see how yer does on th' second one.'

You tell Kastellyn '*mutter*'

Kastellyn tells you 'Now don' go gettin' discouraged.'

Kastellyn tells you 'Some o' these don' have correct answers.'

You tell Kastellyn 'Ask the second question; I will learn from my defeats as I have all my life, yes?'

Kastellyn tells you 'ok...hol' on fer a second.'

Kastellyn tells you 'yer is bein' patient...that is good.'

----

Kastellyn tells you 'Ok...'

Kastellyn tells you 'What do th' warders mean t' yer?'

You tell Kastellyn 'The warders of what?'

You tell Kastellyn 'Many things have warders, yes?'

Kastellyn tells you 'Th' Sylvan Warders o' Thera!'

You tell Kastellyn 'Those warders... what should they mean to me? They have a cause they think they can invest their lives in, they fight for something they think is important... more power to them.'

You tell Kastellyn 'I simply don't happen to agree. Or to care one whit about nature, yes?'

You tell Kastellyn 'A warder, to me, is any other person. Slightly more zealous about nature.'

Kastellyn tells you 'Ok, so what ifn' a warder starts usin' magic in front o' yer?'

You tell Kastellyn 'The wilds, and the Mother, and the Spirit, and... Pah. It's enough to put a warrior off his meal, yes?'

Kastellyn tells you 'Does yer jus' slay 'em outright?'

Kastellyn tells you 'An' spit on their corpse?'

You tell Kastellyn 'Then I would do as I would for any other man using magic in front of me.'

Kastellyn tells you 'An' grind yer heel on their guts?'

Kastellyn tells you 'Or does yer try t' talk t' them an' get 'em t' stop usin' th' magic?'

You tell Kastellyn 'I talk to men who use magic. Their ways can be repented, sometimes. If the man offends me, I will treat him as an honorless dog, yes?'

Kastellyn tells you 'So yer would speak wi' 'em, an' tell 'em...what?'

Kastellyn tells you 'Say I am a ranger of th' Sylvan Warders...'

You tell Kastellyn 'An unrepenting mage is one of the most stubborn things on the planet, yes?'

Kastellyn tells you 'An' yer jus' saw me wearin' one o' those embossed rings.'

Kastellyn tells you 'Yer know th' rings right?'

You tell Kastellyn 'I would tell you that you, as a ranger, have no need for magic or magical items. Your fighting abilities could carry you far, yes?'

You tell Kastellyn 'Rid yourself of the ring, and forget you ever knew a spell.'

You tell Kastellyn 'Practice with what the gods gave you instead, yes?'

Kastellyn tells you 'An' I say, sure, mighty warrior o' th' village! I don' want yer t' beat me head in wi' yer mace, so here, I am takin' th' ring off!'

Kastellyn tells you 'An' I take it off, an' give yer me best woodsy smile.'

You tell Kastellyn 'That is well and good, yes?'

Kastellyn tells you 'An' wave...'

Kastellyn tells you 'yer tell me?'

You tell Kastellyn 'Now drop it, and send it back where it came from?'

Kastellyn tells you 'An' I tell yer, sure an' I will, but then one o' those accursed magic users can jus' go get it right away!!! I will keep it fer safekeepin', I will.'

You tell Kastellyn 'Its taint on you will take hold eventually; it is best to rid yourself of the temptation and take the chance that some mage might take it. It will be plucked from their corpse soon enough.'

You tell Kastellyn 'At worst, give it to me, and I will take care of it, yes?'

Kastellyn tells you 'Alright...good answer fer that question. Now, it changes a bit.'

Kastellyn tells you 'Yer sees Bob, yer warrior buddy in town, with his group o' an assassin an' one o' them sneaky thieves.'

Kastellyn tells you 'An' Bob has th' same ring, or one that looks jus' like it.'

Kastellyn tells you 'Now, lets pretend I am Bob, an' yer is...well, yer.'

You tell Kastellyn 'The question has not changed, yes?'

You tell Kastellyn 'Bob is no more to me than a warder in this respect; if he chooses to taint himself, he can be damned with the magi.'

Kastellyn tells you 'Nope, same scenario, I am Bob th' Warrior, an' I have an embossed ring I am wearin'.'

Kastellyn tells you 'So what does yer tell Bob? Or does yer jus' charge in t' battle an' take 'em out? An' his friends too?'

Kastellyn tells you 'An' then spit on his corpse.'

You tell Kastellyn 'If Bob were to refuse to remove the ring, I would ask that he fight me, yes? I would not soil his honor by attacking his group without provocation.'

Kastellyn tells you 'An' grind yer heel in their guts an' whatnot.'

You tell Kastellyn 'To do so would be to tell him and his friends that I have no respect for their abilities.'

Kastellyn tells you 'Ok...good answer fer that one as well. I like yer...'

Kastellyn tells you 'But don' be gettin' soft on me!'

You tell Kastellyn 'I will not, yes?'

Kastellyn tells you 'Now th' third part to this ever increasin' complex question.'

You tell Kastellyn 'You boggle the mind, yes?'

Kastellyn tells you 'Now I am, picture ifn' yer will, a simple bard, travelin' through th' wilds wi' one o' them embossed rings on me finger.'

Kastellyn tells you 'An' yer stumbles upon me.'

Kastellyn tells you 'In yer travels, practicin' on trolls an' whatnot.'

Kastellyn tells you 'What does yer tell me?'

Kastellyn tells you 'An' remember, I am now Bob th' Bard.'

Kastellyn tells you '*chuckle*'

You tell Kastellyn 'Ho there, bard.. do you realize the nature of that ring you wear, and that its taint seeps through your flesh this very moment?'

You tell Kastellyn 'Best to remove it and destroy it, yes?'

You tell Kastellyn 'You've no need for magical enhancement; your voice will carry you.'

Kastellyn tells you 'Ok...I am taking it off, great warrior! Now I am putting it down on the ground. Now I am stepping away from it. Will you spare my life?'

You tell Kastellyn 'I will, provided that you turn from this lie that is magic, yes? Use your own god-given skills and do not deprive yourself of honor.'

Kastellyn tells you '*nod* Now what did I learn from askin' yer these questions?'

You tell Kastellyn 'I do not know, yes? Your mind works in ways I cannot comprehend.'

Kastellyn tells you 'An' be careful, fer this is th' actual question that matters.'

You tell Kastellyn 'Ah, you mean me to answer? Very well..'

You tell Kastellyn '(I had hoped it was rhetorical)'

Kastellyn tells you 'Aye, I learn from yer answers, no matter what th' questions are.'

Kastellyn tells you 'I could ask yer ifn' a tree falls in th' forest an' noone is about t' hear it...an' I would learn about th' way yer thinks.'

You tell Kastellyn 'You learned that no man under the taint of magic is to be considered on different ground by myself, yes? I will treat the greatest Warder hero the same as the lowliest imperial thug, should he wear such a thing or use such magic, yes?'

Kastellyn tells you 'Aye, but that is th' superficial part o' th' question. Th' easy answer.'

Kastellyn tells you 'A fire giant would get that one...*heh*'

You tell Kastellyn 'True enough.'

Kastellyn tells you 'Think about what was common throughout all three scenarios...'

You tell Kastellyn 'Now, now.. I am convinced of your intellectual supremacy, there is no need to rub it in, yes?'

You tell Kastellyn 'What was common? The ring... myself, and compliance with my demands or death, yes?'

Kastellyn tells you '*heh* I meant that in a good way, I did.'

Kastellyn tells you 'Right on th' target!'

Kastellyn tells you 'I learned that yer is a man who will think an' speak an' not jus' rush blindly into a fight.'

Kastellyn tells you 'An' one who respects his enemies enough t' give 'em a chance t' learn.'

You tell Kastellyn 'It is difficult to preserve honor when all you want is blood, yes?'

Kastellyn tells you 'Am I right, is that how yer are?'

You tell Kastellyn 'If it is off the mark, it is not by much, yes?'

Follow Ups:

• Great interview, almost as amusing as that one from Princess Bride. Shirenne 09:32:09 1/11/2000 (1)
  • Princess Bride? I'm sorry I don't get it. ??? 11:40:41 1/11/2000 (0)
• That was the sweetest interview I have ever heard(n/t) Noganth 22:41:49 1/10/2000 (0)
• Kastellyn, you're the man. (n/t) The Arcane(VIP) 0PST:0:0 1/18:38:08/ (0)

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