In the name of Boredom, how about this...:

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Posted by Slightly disturbed on March 6, 2000 at 16:18:15:

CF has arrived.

CF scans west.

CF mutters quietly to itself.

A bug has arrived.
A bug has arrived.

A bug bites CF.
CF yells 'Help! a bug bit me!'
A bug's bite maims CF!

CF's pound EVISCERATES a bug!
CF tries to attack some empty air near a bug.
A bug's bite decimates CF!
A bug's bite mauls CF.
A bug's bite devastates CF!
A bug screams and attacks CF!
A bug's bite MUTILATES CF!
A bug's bite misses CF.

CF's pound DISMEMBERS a bug!
CF's pound EVISCERATES a bug!
A bug's bite decimates CF!
A bug's bite maims CF!
A bug's bite decimates CF!
A bug's bite MUTILATES CF!

An Immortal rescues CF!

An Immortal's divine power *** DEVASTATES *** a bug!
An Immortal's divine power === OBLITERATES === a bug!
An Immortal delivers a blow of deadly force!
An Immortal's wrath does UNSPEAKABLE things to a bug!
A bug is DEAD!!
A bug splatters blood on your armor.
A bug's bite maims CF!
A bug's bite devastates CF!

A bug flicker and blurs for a moment, then turns into something hideous.

CF's pound grazes something hideous.
Something hideous's chomp *** DEMOLISHES *** CF!
Something hideous's chomp *** DEVASTATES *** CF!
Something hideous's chomp MANGLES CF!
Something hideous's chomp *** DEMOLISHES *** CF!
CF leaves west.
CF has fled!

An Immortal's divine power mauls something hideous.

An Immortal's divine power wounds something hideous.
An Immortal's divine power mauls something hideous.
An Immortal's wrath decimates something hideous!
An Immortal's wrath mauls something hideous.
Something hideous's chomp DISMEMBERS an Immortal!
Something hideous's chomp MASSACRES an Immortal!

Something hideous leaves west.
Something hideous has fled!

Something hideous yells 'CF! Now you die!'
You hear something's death cry.

An Immortal grumbles something under his breath.

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