Posted by Torc on April 17, 2000 at 11:21:13:
In Reply to: Something I came across... the best flame ever posted by Svirfie on April 17, 2000 at 08:47:02:
> You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As we
> say in Texas, I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with
> instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I
> would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you.
>
> You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm
> deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a
> weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a
> revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.
>
> You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly
> with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world.
> An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the
> puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in
> recognition of what they had done.
>
> I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as
> you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought
> of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are
> vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of
> this earth. And did I mention you smell?
>
> Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to
> impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will
> still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more
> rapidly.
>
> You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its
> beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly
> briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of
> your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your
> own trite, foolish beliefs.
>
> You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty
> and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus.
> Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are
> unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that
> reality forgot.
>
> And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements
> of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you
> hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more
> weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle,
> waiting for the bite of the snake?
>
> You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and
> obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living
> emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease,
> you puerile, one-handed, slack-jawed, drooling, meatslapper.
>
> On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient
> in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You
> are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of
> all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.
>
> You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock.
> You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish
> foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless
> crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You
> cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting
> naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted
> fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill.
>
> You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate,
> noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise
> everything about you, and I wish you would go away.
>
> I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid.
> Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid, so stupid it goes way beyond the
> stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are
> trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that
> even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect
> can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid.
> You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year.
> Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can
> really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the
> original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so
> uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we
> know.
>
> I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After
> this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough
> strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments
> about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh.
>
> The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away
> most of your of whay you wrote, because, well... it didn't really say
> anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was pitiful. I
> mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of
> babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have
> learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True,
> these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for
> granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes
> forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these
> things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then I
> would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort
> of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the
> emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on
> you.