Posted by Biggeth on April 24, 2000 at 20:45:22:
You'd think I'd be just fine with my own life to not worry about what some weasel has to say about mine (or anyone else's) supposed addictions. But I just have to speak out...and maybe not even to this guy, because chances are he's somebody I'd never run into, and wouldn't give a rat's fart about his philosophy if I did. However, there are plenty of us who I'm sure, at one time or another, thought, 'Is this healthy?'
I know I do, especially as the adrenaline pumps, and my hands literally shake as I'm on the hunt to kill someone, or running from imminent death, or talking with an Imm that will decide the fate of my character that I've really had hopes for.
So..is my life so empty that I need CF to fill in some gaping void? Hmm no. In fact, if there's anything I need, it's time to meditate and recharge. Yet, with a somewhat high-intensity and concentration-consuming IT job, a wife (also concentration-consuming) 2 young whelps (high-intensity) a few hobbies that are probably misguided but fun nonetheless (bogus movie reviews, crappy fiction writing, varied other useless expenditures), I have to ask myself, what the hell am I thinking playing a game? I rarely do something unless I think I can be somewhat good at it, and it's tough to do this in a game where typically the one with the most time on their hands and (thus) the most knowledge of a game is always the winner.
CF however, is a strange breed. I've played frequently, and I've played extremely rarely, based on what time I have. And granted, there is something to be said for knowing every square inch of land, every pill, every potion, every hidden trick to pull in the cool eq...that definitely doesn't cover all.
I've been 'lucky' enough not to hook up with ooc buddies, irc buddies, same-site buddies, you name it. Through the years, all the shit I've dealt with, I've dealt with based on my own inadequacies. On the plus side, I can, and have, rolled up characters, heroed them, and spent countless hours exploring the land, interacting with creatures (players or imm), doing the puzzles, simply...thinking.
And this is where the true beauty of CF kicks in. You don't need a lot of time, buddies or inside knowledge to get that kick-ass feeling. Sure, I could be doing other more 'productive' things than CF. People bring up exercise (you only need 30 mins a day. If you feel the need to numb up the brain for mindless exercise more than that, then perhaps you have things you're avoiding, not us. Granted, you might be the next Gold medalist in the 100 meter, but...chances are...), and as far as the other creative outlets....I would challenge any average high-school or college student to do well in CF. I may be naive, or just really really stupid (as my mum claims), but I do think it takes a certain amount of intelligence to excel here. Not time, not inside info. But lounging in the guild, and when some drunk asks you a silly question, being quick on the feet enough to respond as if you were (gasp) actually in the realm, and proceed such.
I dunno. I have many options to expend my money and freetime on. Funny I should find an outlet that is free, yet I've yet to master. Where else can you debate morality? Ethics? Where else can you rp to the point of awing others...create a character with such forethought and concentration that the others at the end of the digital stream feel they are dealing with the character, not the numbingly-average human on the other side of a keyboard?
Brothers and sisters, I've come through this trial of fire, and more than ever, I feel this:
1. I answer to noone. NOONE! (except my wife, but she understands CF in a weird, distant kind of way. I let her watch one time as my thief ran amuck blackjacking people, and although she laughed a bit, especially at the tirades, she didn't really get it. I'm still working on converting her.)
2. Everyone needs an outlet. I don't mean some mind-numbing hobby to take one's mind off on one's life...but a way to let off steam, to release one's brain and do what comes natural...whether it's goodly one week or scarably the next...it just doesnt matter.
3. Some outlets are better than others. 'Nuff said.
4. Does CF actually promote intelligence? I'll bet it does. I can actually, bizarelly enough, think of real life situations where I've used a CF situation to work to my advantage. I don't mean telling your employer, 'Once, I summoned this dark elf, and I wield the jewelled broadsword and WHOOPED HIS ASS! WOO!'. Tried this in my first interview, and got arrested. NO, I'm talking more about general reasoning and analytical thinking that CF can really promote, save you're not concentrating on cheating, becoming a mass pker, or an acolyte of Nepenthe.
Damn, this was kind of a rant, huh? If any of you sorry bastards are still reading this, I can only say that obviously I still really enjoy logging in...and talking with all of you in one way or another. I hope that some are like me, and realize that despite only a few hours here and there in the realms can mean quality, not quantity.
50 years from now, when you're sucking on a margarita and wondering where your life went...what will you remember?
1. The 24-hour NBC Marathon of Dharma & Greg?
2. A Hell trip.
Which is going to be more memorable?
-S-
(Disclaimer - although having been invited to half-a-dozen hell trips through various CF factions, my family/business have always interfered..."Oh, Hey, we need this working on the web by Friday. I mean Tuesday." "Hi, how was your day, oh by the way, we all have the Measles" ...thus I've never been in. NEVER!
Not yet.)