Posted by Paouwer's Player on May 3, 2000 at 11:29:35:
Okay, so I get pulled into some little room and am told my description is not up to snuff. This is fine. I have been meaning to lengthen it.
The bard, Ashaxeryn, is there in this little room. Now, he summoned me away after I had been murdered and was in the process of trying to locate my corpse so I can kiss my loot good-bye. I'm uncertain why he couldn't have dropped me a note and threatened me a bit. It was really a very bad time to take me away. I'll need to completely re-equip when I can get back to the game.
I add a few lines about how you can tell that I'm from Blackclaw because of my fluffy tail, how I'm little and lithe and a little twitchy--shit like that--and then ask him to look at me.
Now, in the real world I am an award-winning playwright and a published poet. Small pubs, but still... And the bard begins to hassle me about how my description wasn't quite what they had in mind.
My description is written in a free verse. I'm after effect and feel and mood with my character's look. I want the character to be intriguing for ME, so I write the kind of description I like to read.
He doesn't like it. He asks me to look at him. It's the standard, long-text description describing a strong jaw and hair color and what he's wearing, and the glint in his eyes and so on and forth and I'm snoring by the time I'm done reading it.
But then, I've read the man's verse. He obviously is real fan of Kipling and Tennyson. I lean more towards Galway Kinnell and Sylvia Plath myself.
What should I do? How can I combat this? My description is fun. Interesting. Quick to take in, but it doesn't make a player stop and stare for two minutes. Am I out of line? Does anyone have dealings with the bard? He seems a very friendly sort.