Anyone remember Lance?

Anyone remember Lance?:
[ Follow Ups ] [ Post Followup ] [ Dioxide's CForum ]

Posted by Pendragon_Surtr on July 29, 2000 at 14:45:34:

I just saw this while perusing the back issues at Glimo's and started laughing, I forgot all about Lance.
: --> and his brains splash all over you.

This is the erroneous part. If it were really Lance who had been killed, it would have been more like, "The dust and tumbleweeds from Lance's head splash all over you."

And then it might say something like,
"Lance is one neuron short of a synapse."
-or-
"Lance drank from the fountain of knowledge, but only gargled."
-or-
perhaps in that new library south of the Inn, we could have Lance-isms...Here's my contributions:

"Since I've seen him last, Lance has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."
"Lance's men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."
"I would not allow Lance to breed."
"Lance is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't be."
"Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."
"When Lance opens his mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."
"Lance would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."
"Lance has delusions of adequacy."
"Lance sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."
"Lance is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
"Lance should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better."
"Lance has got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together."
"Lance is a gross ignoramus--144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."
"Lance certainly takes a long time to make his pointless."
"Lance doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
"I would like to go hunting with Lance sometime."
"Lance would argue with a signpost."
"Lance brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."
"When his I.Q. reaches 50, he should sell."
"If you see two people talking and one looks bored, Lance is the other one."
"A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."
"Lance is a prime candidate for natural deselection."
"Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."
"Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."
"Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it."
"If Lance was any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."
"If you give Lance a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."
"If you stand close enough to Lance, you can hear the ocean."
"It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."
"Takes Lance 1 1/2 hours to watch 60 Minutes."
"The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."

Thank you! Joey JoJo has left the tavern.

("Wait, don't go Joey JoJo!")

Follow Ups:

hey remember him indeed Played a ranger at this time and tame worked on him :) n.t. Saltimbanko 09:10:40 7/30/2000 (0)

Post a Followup

Name:
E-mail:
Subject:
Comments:	> I just saw this while perusing the back issues at Glimo's and started laughing, I forgot all about Lance. > : --> and his brains splash all over you. > This is the erroneous part. If it were really Lance who had been killed, it would have been more like, "The dust and tumbleweeds from Lance's head splash all over you." > And then it might say something like, > "Lance is one neuron short of a synapse." > -or- > "Lance drank from the fountain of knowledge, but only gargled." > -or- > perhaps in that new library south of the Inn, we could have Lance-isms...Here's my contributions: > "Since I've seen him last, Lance has reached rock bottom and has started to dig." > "Lance's men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity." > "I would not allow Lance to breed." > "Lance is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't be." > "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap." > "When Lance opens his mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet." > "Lance would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle." > "Lance has delusions of adequacy." > "Lance sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them." > "Lance is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot." > "Lance should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better." > "Lance has got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together." > "Lance is a gross ignoramus--144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus." > "Lance certainly takes a long time to make his pointless." > "Lance doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier." > "I would like to go hunting with Lance sometime." > "Lance would argue with a signpost." > "Lance brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room." > "When his I.Q. reaches 50, he should sell." > "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, Lance is the other one." > "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on." > "Lance is a prime candidate for natural deselection." > "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it." > "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming." > "Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it." > "If Lance was any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week." > "If you give Lance a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change." > "If you stand close enough to Lance, you can hear the ocean." > "It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm." > "Takes Lance 1 1/2 hours to watch 60 Minutes." > "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead." > Thank you! Joey JoJo has left the tavern. > ("Wait, don't go Joey JoJo!")

[ Follow Ups ] [ Post Followup ] [ Dioxide's CForum ]