I'll be damned if I know why i'm bothering to type this at 5am when I should be in bed, but there ya go. <br> <br>I understand (along with a few other people) on these boards where this bad vibe is coming from. Perhaps its a case of me and others choosing to understand and indulge you. You put a large part of yourself into the character and it is ultimately disheartening to see your efforts fall flat. The reality is, that every person on this board has been there before. Everyone here has had role ideas they really liked fall through, or characters with no role exceeding expectations. Pk wins, pk losses, full loots, full sacs, been ganked and ganked others. Believe us when we say we know how you feel. Many of the people I started CFing with have left the game due to this. Ultimately I play totally IC with no OOC contacts whatsoever now. These boards are the closest proximity I will ever have with another player out of game. <br> <br>At the end of the day CF is a learning curve and if you are just starting (and by just starting i mean have been playing for less than 1-2 years - yes the game is that complex) I would strongly suggest that rather than letting some bad characters tarnish your memories of the game and turn you bitter you enjoy the learning process. Enjoy your first immteraction. Enjoy your first pk. Your first role reward. Enjoy the first time you hero and the first time you stumble across that incredibly secret area explore area or find that l33t gear. If you continue to play the game like we all did you will look back and wax nostalgic on the first time you did these things. <br> <br>My first characters: got given a hero level limited sword and armor that disappeared when I logged out under lvl 11. Got poisoned and killed before being pkable by a thief. Got denied by Kastellyn for just being plain fucking useless. Got ganked, couldn't get a group, multikilled. Left in the void and starved to death (i'm sure you get the idea. ) <br> <br>I still remember my first hero. My first (and only) hell trip. Exploring area explores solo. Randomly stumbling across items I have never seen (and probably will never see) since. And no, I don't normally go caballed, i suck at sealing kills but can survive in combat. I don't normally hero and I have moderate prep/wand/stave knowledge. But when I play I enjoy myself, when I stop enjoying myself I delete. Take a break. Come back. Ultimately, after playing for 6 years, I still enjoy interactions with other players, imms and exploration. I would consider myself fairly knowledgeable about areas other than super difficult to solo explore area explores like Silent tower, Hell. Octagonal tower. <br> <br>I've digressed but my bottom line is, its a game. You win some and you lose some. If you can only play 1 hr a week and can find an aspect of the game enjoyable you're doing fine. Don't become bitter. Don't expect everything to fall at your feet when you feel you deserve it. Don't let things in game that you can't control eat you up. Enjoy yourself. Try to add to the game and to other people's experience. Don't become another Josiah (assuming you are not Josiah already.) And finally, if you come across as remotely hostile to the Imms OOC (especially in pray) you will get NO sympathy from them (regardless of whether you are deserving.) This is true throughout CF history over and over again.