This post makes things significantly worse. I don't have the time or inclination to go through all of it, but a few real doozies stick out.

First. "Why no list of gears? It gives OOC info about best things which are available to retake just now." Followed up in the very next paragraph by, "Losing tiamat's pendant, fulminator gauntlets, brazier, cointainer with all my preps/gambled things/bunch of recharge wands from ST".

Uh, what? That's split personality disorder at its finest.

Second. "Technically I was half-fulled, but potentially I was fulled." In every possible way, this is wrong. It's wrong literally, it's wrong figuratively, it's wrong morally, it's wrong game-mechanicaly, it's just plain wrong. Even thinking something like that, much less writing it, is wrong. Period.

But then you compound it with this truly offensive statement, which is, I believe, the worst of all:

"Losing tiamat's pendant, fulminator gauntlets, brazier, cointainer with all my preps/gambled things/bunch of recharge wands from ST and all my weapons made me not competitive at all. ... I have almost no chances to take game changing things back in foreseen future. That is why I claimed myself to be fulled in OOC comment. That is why I told to Emperor that I lost almost all and its unacceptable. Say, I used to be able to kill Lord and Empress in Seantryn Palace, take stoneform solo etc."

Where to begin? Let's start with the fact that you think not having (quite literally) the best gear in the entire game makes you "not competitive at all" is just insane. And I mean that literally. Insane. For example, you *did* have all that gear, but you died. Meaning people who did NOT have that gear, killed you. Therefore, one does not need that equipment to be competitive. Q.E.D. Of course, it's also obvious as literally (I'm over using that word, but it's actually accurate in each use so what the hell) every other character in the history of CF has been "competitive" and pk'd without all the stuff you had. Or even the stuff you got back, which, as you mentioned, was fully half of your things.

Next, your statement that depriving you of "game changing things" is equal to being actually full looted is beyond forgiveness. Your sense of entitlement is incomprehensible. And, in truth, "game changing things" which are so overpowered should of course have been taken. What possible reason would they want their enemy to keep such things? And really why would you want such things? If your goal is to be competitive, why have "game changing things" which makes your character easy mode? (Though again, they obviously didn't change the game enough, you died. I really would like to see this log. Maybe the players can post and give their permission?)

Finally, the rest of your post, which of course is an attempt to rehabilitate your newfound public disgrace, is belied by what you actually did in-game. As you say, you told the Emperor a lie. A flat-out lie, that you were almost fulled, etc. All because you would no longer be able to do things that no single character is really meant to do, but your "game changing things" had allowed you to do. Your arrogant belief that you owned those things - and worse, that you deserved to have them and do the things they let you do which virtually nobody else could ever do - was and is the real reason you said and did as you have, and not, as you are trying to suggest, the result of being angry at dying. It wasn't rage that made you say that to the emperor, or lie about it, or post it here. Your words confirm that really it's that you genuinely think you deserved to have and keep them, and only in having them can your character actually be competitive and successful.

That's both wrong, and sad.