That still sounds slightly awkward...

June 17, 2008 08:20AM
with dulzuth's coming right after each other. Usually, if you want in to be smooth, you should try to separate them.
I think a better one would be:

As shadowy worms crawl across his face, Dulzuth's eyes glow black.
Dissolving into a squirming mound of blood and meat, Dulzuth's form is covered with ravenous worms.

However, if you want to keep the exclamation mark, Nebel's idea may be better.
Subject Author Views Posted

Another attempt on Dulzuth

LogFiend 874 June 17, 2008 05:13AM

Hell, scion is grouped with outtie? -nt

Engurd 308 June 17, 2008 06:26AM

Sniggle was slept. Dulzuth followed him. nt

Flipside Oreo 339 June 17, 2008 08:36AM

Yeah, this got me confused. -nt

Engurd 297 June 17, 2008 09:01AM

I don't see Scion grouped with Outlander in this log. nt

Isildur(VIP) 296 June 17, 2008 07:26AM

Sniggledorf is not an outlander anymore? -nt

Engurd 278 June 17, 2008 07:49AM

SNIGGLEDORF?!?!?!

entropissed 355 June 18, 2008 01:25PM

No shit.

Krilcov 341 June 18, 2008 09:18PM

He may well be. Where do you see him grouped with a Scion? nt

Isildur(VIP) 266 June 17, 2008 08:05AM

The only thing that bugs me about that prog echo is the verbiage.

Jib 512 June 17, 2008 05:41AM

This is how it should read.

(vಠ_ಠ)> AngryFatKid 492 June 17, 2008 11:09AM

What does the echo mean?~

Enbuergo 344 June 17, 2008 07:48AM

Yes

nebel 494 June 17, 2008 06:06AM

That still sounds slightly awkward...

sleepy 390 June 17, 2008 08:20AM



Sorry, only registered users may post in this forum.

Click here to login

Online Users

Guests: 125
Record Number of Users: 5 November 04, 2022
Record Number of Guests: 358 August 31, 2022