Its bullshit that the guy got hired just because he was gay, even if he was clearly incompetent and underqualified, and its bullshit that he got away with that sort of behavior.

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That being said, I know the problem you and NbM are discussing. Let me share an experience I think is roughly analogous:

When I was in school, I was a shy, awkward kid. And I grew big, quickly.

So when these assertive, arrogant jackass kids who were smaller than me started bullying me, and I pushed back, -I- was the one who got the talking to, not them. The teacher pulled me aside, just on the base assumption that I was the bad guy, because I was bigger. The teacher, after hearing my side of the story, explained to me that because I was bigger than them, and stronger than them, it was on ME to be more careful. Because any teacher that comes in will automatically assume I am the bully, simply due to my size and weight, even if its not true. It ain't fair, and it ain't right, its just how the world is. From then on, I was more careful around them - not because that was fair or right, but because swinging back would always make ME look like the bad guy, even if it wasn't true.

This is what I feel the big problem with people like us, whether they are white or male or just big - they kind of have this special burden to be more careful with what they say and what they do, and they often can't get away with some shit that women or gay men could.

So I totally get where you're coming from. But when I thought about what it would be like to be small and weak and shy and awkward, rather than big and strong and shy and awkward, I realized that I probably got the better part of the deal.

Yeah, I had to be more careful around most kids since they were smaller than me. Yeah, I can't be as aggressive or as arrogant as they are, or else I look like a gigantic bully. But even so, all of that is WAY better than being small and weak, and at the mercy of any jackass who wants to pick on me. The small and weak kids at my school had 20x the problems that I did - if I really wanted someone to leave me alone, he would leave me alone. And there were plenty of benefits to being tall, as well. I was useful in basketball without needing to try as hard. One girl in high school confessed to me that the only reason she agreed to go to the prom with me was because I was tall enough that she could wear high heels - I didn't mind, she was out of my league anyway, I was shocked when she said yes.

Long story short, I feel like that you are totally right - being male and straight and whatever else means you get a lot of shit that nobody else does. You have to deal with a lot of burdens that nobody else gets. And you can't toe the line the way some jackasses do, and get away with it. If your girlfriend smacks you and you smack her back and the cop walks in on this, you're probably going to jail for a long ass time. And some of those things are totally unfair and unwinnable. But let's be real, be totally honest with yourself: would you trade what you are for being a gay man, or a black woman, at any point in time?

Definitely not. I sure wouldn't. They got problems 100x worse than what I got.