... this relationship has spanned several women, multiple cities and an innumerable set of personal philosophies. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that I'm out of beer and that's a much more pressing issue than two T's and a V.
Just kidding: you are nothing more than a very complex machine designed to seek out and destroy the individuality of some one woman, at least. It is natural to believe she wishes the same on you. The only remedy is honesty, but in our consumption-based society, you may find honesty ruins brand loyalty. You might need to find a new set of legs to slide your hand between in sleep (oh, that slide. How it slips...).
This time, when you build the brand, when you sell the DEATHCLAW, don't forget to pimp your solitary nature, your ability to let yourself in by shutting others out, and the value (s)he might take by accepting your introspective adventures and tortoise-like slides into the creek.
Seriously, I'm out of beer. I'm out of beer. I'm out. I'm... I've studied this.
Goodnight.