Hurray Arbiters! This is Hysterical

Hurray Arbiters! This is Hysterical:
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Posted by TheToe on February 22, 2000 at 18:30:32:

Market Square
This bustling square lies at the intersection of the High road and the
Trade Road. Traders from every city have come here to try to convince you
to buy their cheap wares. None of it is even worth a second glance. The
High road continues to the north and south and the Trade Road continues to
the east and west.

[Exits: north east south west]
(Charmed) A special guard from Galadon is here, enforcing the Law.
(Charmed) A special guard from Galadon is here, enforcing the Law.
(Translucent) Kopentol the gnome is here.
Quintellia the elf is here.
Houile the dwarf is here.
Calyldor the human is here, fighting Ulruk.
Naexoah the arial is here.
Shoten the duergar is here.
(WANTED) Ulruk the felar is here, fighting Calyldor.
Janglur the arial is here.

The special guard has arrived.
The special guard has arrived.
Calyldor growls.
Quintellia shouts 'Guards! Guards!'
Two guards come to Quintellia's rescue!
The special guard's pound wounds Ulruk.
The special guard's pound misses Ulruk.
Ulruk's slash grazes Calyldor.
Calyldor's punch MUTILATES Ulruk!

Calyldor shouts 'Guards! Guards!'
Two guards come to Calyldor's rescue!

Someone has arrived.
A zombie of an elven guard has arrived.
A zombie of a ranger has arrived.
A flesh golem has arrived.
A zombie of Kwinjii has arrived.
The special guard has arrived.
The special guard has arrived.

The special guard yells 'Ulruk is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!'
The special guard EVISCERATES Ulruk!
The special guard yells 'Ulruk is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!'
The special guard yells 'Ulruk is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!'
The special guard yells 'Ulruk is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!'
The special guard devastates Ulruk!
The special guard yells 'Ulruk is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!'
The special guard devastates Ulruk!
The special guard MASSACRES Ulruk!
The special guard yells 'Ulruk is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!'
The special guard yells 'Ulruk is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!'
The special guard MUTILATES Ulruk!
The special guard yells 'Ulruk is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!'

The special guard's slash MUTILATES Ulruk!
The special guard's slash misses Ulruk.
The special guard's slash MASSACRES Ulruk!
The gods protect Ulruk from Quiverence.
The special guard's pierce DISMEMBERS Ulruk!
The gods protect Ulruk from Quiverence.
The special guard's pound devastates Ulruk!
The special guard's pound wounds Ulruk.
The gods protect Ulruk from a zombie of Kwinjii.
The gods protect Ulruk from a flesh golem.
The gods protect Ulruk from a zombie of a ranger.
The gods protect Ulruk from a zombie of an elven guard.
The gods protect Ulruk from someone.
The special guard's pound MUTILATES Ulruk!
Ulruk is DEAD!!
You hear Ulruk's death cry.

Calyldor gets a plain steel sword from the corpse of Ulruk.
exam corpse
The corpse of Ulruk is lying here.
When you look inside, you see:
The corpse of Ulruk contains:
Nothing.

Shoten winces in agony.

Calyldor is now WANTED!!!

The special guard yells 'Calyldor is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!'
The special guard mauls Calyldor.
The special guard yells 'Calyldor is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!'
The special guard yells 'Calyldor is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!'
The special guard devastates Calyldor!
The special guard yells 'Calyldor is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!'
The special guard yells 'Calyldor is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!'
The special guard yells 'Calyldor is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!'
The special guard decimates Calyldor!
The special guard yells 'Calyldor is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!'
The special guard mauls Calyldor.
The special guard yells 'Calyldor is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!'
The special guard yells 'Calyldor is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!'
The special guard yells 'Calyldor is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!'

Someone looks at Calyldor.

Janglur says 'damn'

The special guard's pound wounds Calyldor.
The special guard's slash wounds Calyldor.
The special guard's slash EVISCERATES Calyldor!
The special guard's pierce decimates Calyldor!
The gods protect Calyldor from Quiverence.
The special guard's pierce wounds Calyldor.
The gods protect Calyldor from Quiverence.
A zombie of Kwinjii's pierce wounds Calyldor.
A flesh golem's slash decimates Calyldor!
A flesh golem's slash devastates Calyldor!
A zombie of an elven guard's slash devastates Calyldor!
Tukkemset fades into existence.
Tukkemset's digestion mauls Calyldor.
Calyldor leaves south.
Calyldor has fled!

Kopentol leaves south.
The special guard leaves south.
The special guard leaves south.
Tukkemset leaves south.
The special guard leaves south.
The special guard leaves south.
A zombie of Kwinjii leaves south.
A flesh golem leaves south.
A zombie of a ranger leaves south.
A zombie of an elven guard leaves south.

Shoten boggles at the concept.

The special guard leaves east.
The special guard leaves east.

Houile leaves east.
s
High Road
Here the broad avenue merges with the market square to the north to form a
large bustling open marketplace. The general store lies to the east and the
pet shop is west. The road continues to the south.

[Exits: north east south west]
(Charmed) A zombie of an elven guard is here.
(Charmed) A zombie of a ranger is here.
(Charmed) A flesh golem stands here.
(Charmed) A zombie of Kwinjii is here.
(Charmed) A special guard from Galadon is here, enforcing the Law.
(Charmed) A special guard from Galadon is here, enforcing the Law.
Tukkemset the human is here.
(Charmed) A special guard from Galadon is here, enforcing the Law.
(Charmed) A special guard from Galadon is here, enforcing the Law.
(Translucent) Kopentol the gnome is here.
A drunk man is here singing at the top of his lungs.
s
Someone has arrived.
High Road
The broad avenue seems to be falling into disrepair here, as though the
masons don't care to come to this part of the city. You hear raucous
laughter coming out of a tavern to the west. The Dark Temple looms
menacingly over you to the east. The windows seem more like brooding eyes
and the archway in the wall seems like a huge mouth ready to swallow you.
The road continues to an intersection with the River Road to the south and
meets with the Market Square farther to the north.

[Exits: north east south west]

Kopentol leaves north.
The special guard leaves north.
The special guard leaves north.

The special guard yells 'Calyldor is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!'
The special guard yells 'Calyldor is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!'
The special guard yells 'Calyldor is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!'
n
High Road
Here the broad avenue merges with the market square to the north to form a
large bustling open marketplace. The general store lies to the east and the
pet shop is west. The road continues to the south.

[Exits: north east south west]
(Charmed) A special guard from Galadon is here, enforcing the Law.
(Charmed) A special guard from Galadon is here, enforcing the Law.
(Translucent) Kopentol the gnome is here.
(Charmed) A zombie of an elven guard is here.
(Charmed) A zombie of a ranger is here.
(Charmed) A flesh golem stands here.
(Charmed) A zombie of Kwinjii is here.
(Charmed) A special guard from Galadon is here, enforcing the Law.
(Charmed) A special guard from Galadon is here, enforcing the Law.
Tukkemset the human is here.
A drunk man is here singing at the top of his lungs.

Calyldor yells 'I'm an arbiter moron'

Kopentol leaves west.
The special guard leaves west.
The special guard leaves west.

The special guard yells 'Calyldor is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!'
Calyldor has arrived.
The special guard yells 'Calyldor is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!'
The special guard decimates Calyldor!
Calyldor leaves west.
Calyldor has fled!

Someone leaves west.
whoi cal
[ Human ] [ARBITER] (WANTED) Calyldor the Master Minstrel
[ Elf ] Callis the Apprentice of Magic

Follow Ups:

Oh man, this is so pathetic. i recite an old CF thing, couldnt find his ass with two hands and a torch (n/t) Ayachin 14:33:27 2/24/2000 (0)
Who needs the Barons to create chaos when they can do it themselves!!! n/t Chaos Lover 05:17:32 2/23/2000 (0)
heheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheh n/t kisanth 00:32:30 2/23/2000 (0)
Effin' retards... who brought these guys back again?? (N/T) Cas 23:09:39 2/22/2000 (0)
He died at the grove anyway n/t warder 21:51:41 2/22/2000 (0)
Next time be sure to manacle him. He might not have gotten away n/t Khiravn 19:18:39 2/22/2000 (0)

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Comments:	> <table border=0 bgcolor=black> > <tr> > <td> > <pre> > <font color=white> > Market Square > This bustling square lies at the intersection of the High road and the > Trade Road. Traders from every city have come here to try to convince you > to buy their cheap wares. None of it is even worth a second glance. The > High road continues to the north and south and the Trade Road continues to > the east and west. > > [Exits: north east south west] > (Charmed) A special guard from Galadon is here, enforcing the Law. > (Charmed) A special guard from Galadon is here, enforcing the Law. > (Translucent) Kopentol the gnome is here. > Quintellia the elf is here. > Houile the dwarf is here. > Calyldor the human is here, fighting Ulruk. > Naexoah the arial is here. > Shoten the duergar is here. > (WANTED) Ulruk the felar is here, fighting Calyldor. > Janglur the arial is here. > > The special guard has arrived. > The special guard has arrived. > Calyldor growls. > Quintellia shouts '<u>Guards! Guards!</u>' > Two guards come to Quintellia's rescue! > The special guard's pound <font color="red">wounds</font> Ulruk. > The special guard's pound <font color="red">misses</font> Ulruk. > Ulruk's slash <font color="red">grazes</font> Calyldor. > Calyldor's punch <font color="red">MUTILATES</font> Ulruk! > > Calyldor shouts '<u>Guards! Guards!</u>' > Two guards come to Calyldor's rescue! > > Someone has arrived. > A zombie of an elven guard has arrived. > A zombie of a ranger has arrived. > A flesh golem has arrived. > A zombie of Kwinjii has arrived. > The special guard has arrived. > The special guard has arrived. > > <font color="lime">The special guard yells '<u>Ulruk is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!</u>'</font> > The special guard <font color="red">EVISCERATES</font> Ulruk! > <font color="lime">The special guard yells '<u>Ulruk is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!</u>'</font> > <font color="lime">The special guard yells '<u>Ulruk is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!</u>'</font> > <font color="lime">The special guard yells '<u>Ulruk is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!</u>'</font> > The special guard <font color="red">devastates</font> Ulruk! > <font color="lime">The special guard yells '<u>Ulruk is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!</u>'</font> > The special guard <font color="red">devastates</font> Ulruk! > The special guard <font color="red">MASSACRES</font> Ulruk! > <font color="lime">The special guard yells '<u>Ulruk is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!</u>'</font> > <font color="lime">The special guard yells '<u>Ulruk is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!</u>'</font> > The special guard <font color="red">MUTILATES</font> Ulruk! > <font color="lime">The special guard yells '<u>Ulruk is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!</u>'</font> > > The special guard's slash <font color="red">MUTILATES</font> Ulruk! > The special guard's slash <font color="red">misses</font> Ulruk. > The special guard's slash <font color="red">MASSACRES</font> Ulruk! > The gods protect Ulruk from Quiverence. > The special guard's pierce <font color="red">DISMEMBERS</font> Ulruk! > The gods protect Ulruk from Quiverence. > The special guard's pound <font color="red">devastates</font> Ulruk! > The special guard's pound <font color="red">wounds</font> Ulruk. > The gods protect Ulruk from a zombie of Kwinjii. > The gods protect Ulruk from a flesh golem. > The gods protect Ulruk from a zombie of a ranger. > The gods protect Ulruk from a zombie of an elven guard. > The gods protect Ulruk from someone. > The special guard's pound <font color="red">MUTILATES</font> Ulruk! > <font color="yellow"><b>Ulruk is DEAD!!</b></font> > <font color="pink">You hear Ulruk's death cry.</font> > > Calyldor gets a plain steel sword from the corpse of Ulruk. > exam corpse > The corpse of Ulruk is lying here. > When you look inside, you see: > The corpse of Ulruk contains: > Nothing. > > Shoten winces in agony. > > Calyldor is now WANTED!!! > > <font color="lime">The special guard yells '<u>Calyldor is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!</u>'</font> > The special guard <font color="red">mauls</font> Calyldor. > <font color="lime">The special guard yells '<u>Calyldor is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!</u>'</font> > <font color="lime">The special guard yells '<u>Calyldor is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!</u>'</font> > The special guard <font color="red">devastates</font> Calyldor! > <font color="lime">The special guard yells '<u>Calyldor is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!</u>'</font> > <font color="lime">The special guard yells '<u>Calyldor is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!</u>'</font> > <font color="lime">The special guard yells '<u>Calyldor is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!</u>'</font> > The special guard <font color="red">decimates</font> Calyldor! > <font color="lime">The special guard yells '<u>Calyldor is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!</u>'</font> > The special guard <font color="red">mauls</font> Calyldor. > <font color="lime">The special guard yells '<u>Calyldor is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!</u>'</font> > <font color="lime">The special guard yells '<u>Calyldor is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!</u>'</font> > <font color="lime">The special guard yells '<u>Calyldor is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!</u>'</font> > > Someone looks at Calyldor. > > <font color="blue">Janglur says '<u>damn</u>'</font> > > The special guard's pound <font color="red">wounds</font> Calyldor. > The special guard's slash <font color="red">wounds</font> Calyldor. > The special guard's slash <font color="red">EVISCERATES</font> Calyldor! > The special guard's pierce <font color="red">decimates</font> Calyldor! > The gods protect Calyldor from Quiverence. > The special guard's pierce <font color="red">wounds</font> Calyldor. > The gods protect Calyldor from Quiverence. > A zombie of Kwinjii's pierce <font color="red">wounds</font> Calyldor. > A flesh golem's slash <font color="red">decimates</font> Calyldor! > A flesh golem's slash <font color="red">devastates</font> Calyldor! > A zombie of an elven guard's slash <font color="red">devastates</font> Calyldor! > Tukkemset fades into existence. > Tukkemset's digestion <font color="red">mauls</font> Calyldor. > Calyldor leaves south. > Calyldor has fled! > > Kopentol leaves south. > The special guard leaves south. > The special guard leaves south. > Tukkemset leaves south. > The special guard leaves south. > The special guard leaves south. > A zombie of Kwinjii leaves south. > A flesh golem leaves south. > A zombie of a ranger leaves south. > A zombie of an elven guard leaves south. > > Shoten boggles at the concept. > > The special guard leaves east. > The special guard leaves east. > > Houile leaves east. > s > High Road > Here the broad avenue merges with the market square to the north to form a > large bustling open marketplace. The general store lies to the east and the > pet shop is west. The road continues to the south. > > [Exits: north east south west] > (Charmed) A zombie of an elven guard is here. > (Charmed) A zombie of a ranger is here. > (Charmed) A flesh golem stands here. > (Charmed) A zombie of Kwinjii is here. > (Charmed) A special guard from Galadon is here, enforcing the Law. > (Charmed) A special guard from Galadon is here, enforcing the Law. > Tukkemset the human is here. > (Charmed) A special guard from Galadon is here, enforcing the Law. > (Charmed) A special guard from Galadon is here, enforcing the Law. > (Translucent) Kopentol the gnome is here. > A drunk man is here singing at the top of his lungs. > s > Someone has arrived. > High Road > The broad avenue seems to be falling into disrepair here, as though the > masons don't care to come to this part of the city. You hear raucous > laughter coming out of a tavern to the west. The Dark Temple looms > menacingly over you to the east. The windows seem more like brooding eyes > <font color="pink">and the archway in the wall seems like a huge mouth ready to swallow you.</font> > The road continues to an intersection with the River Road to the south and > meets with the Market Square farther to the north. > > [Exits: north east south west] > > Kopentol leaves north. > The special guard leaves north. > The special guard leaves north. > > <font color="lime">The special guard yells '<u>Calyldor is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!</u>'</font> > <font color="lime">The special guard yells '<u>Calyldor is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!</u>'</font> > <font color="lime">The special guard yells '<u>Calyldor is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!</u>'</font> > n > High Road > Here the broad avenue merges with the market square to the north to form a > large bustling open marketplace. The general store lies to the east and the > pet shop is west. The road continues to the south. > > [Exits: north east south west] > (Charmed) A special guard from Galadon is here, enforcing the Law. > (Charmed) A special guard from Galadon is here, enforcing the Law. > (Translucent) Kopentol the gnome is here. > (Charmed) A zombie of an elven guard is here. > (Charmed) A zombie of a ranger is here. > (Charmed) A flesh golem stands here. > (Charmed) A zombie of Kwinjii is here. > (Charmed) A special guard from Galadon is here, enforcing the Law. > (Charmed) A special guard from Galadon is here, enforcing the Law. > Tukkemset the human is here. > A drunk man is here singing at the top of his lungs. > > <font color="lime">Calyldor yells '<u>I'm an arbiter moron</u>'</font> > > Kopentol leaves west. > The special guard leaves west. > The special guard leaves west. > > <font color="lime">The special guard yells '<u>Calyldor is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!</u>'</font> > Calyldor has arrived. > <font color="lime">The special guard yells '<u>Calyldor is a CRIMINAL! PROTECT THE INNOCENT!! BANZAI!!</u>'</font> > The special guard <font color="red">decimates</font> Calyldor! > Calyldor leaves west. > Calyldor has fled! > > Someone leaves west. > whoi cal > [ Human ] [ARBITER] (WANTED) Calyldor the Master Minstrel > [ Elf ] Callis the Apprentice of Magic > > </font> > </pre></td></tr></table>

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