Back by popular demand -- Everyone's name sucks:

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Posted by Put-er off of papers on April 4, 2000 at 19:12:39:

Yes, you all are in luck. I have another huge ass paper due tomorrow,
and I don't wanna work on it. Therefore, I chose to draw the ire of
48 people I don't know. Your welcome. This time I left my own character
in and made fun of his name too.

[ Arial ] Vreuroux the Shotei

This name sucks. Not only a v, not only an x, but it begins with vr!
Lets pronounce it: "vreeoohroh" (is this french?)
[ Elf ] Thaurelea the Sorceress
Don't know why, but when I see this name I think this must be a
a combination of Tharena and Lorasea!
[ Human ] Zynith the Hired Killer
My parents had a Zenith television. It never tried to kill us.
[ Arial ] Kosedran the Novice of Owaza
We know about k names. At least it sounds neat.
[ D-Elf ] [ARBITER] Fosterian the Master Summoner
It's Australian for beer
[ Human ] Nyrzhul the Student Theurgist
What the... Did someone just steal all the vowels from Nazmorghul?
[ Storm ] Jklopmnsh the Paladin Pupil
Gesundheit
[ Human ] Lendel the Master of Kamae
What, is this Grendel's lost good twin brother?
[ Elf ] Nirgal the Master of Wind
Sounds like what the monster under my bed would be called
[ Duerg ] Kryssis the Keeper of Faith
Sounds like an 80's heavy metal band
[ Dwarf ] Graellok the Apprentice Healer
Ahh, the ever irresistable "ae". This is a cool name, too bad it sounds evil (with the "lok" and all)
[ Human ] Kastar the Sentry
Chaos-star? Gas tar? Castor? Caster? It's not the k this time, I promise
[ Gnome ] Alendar the Conjurer
This name is far too simple, not to mention pronouncable. Probably an imm
[ D-Elf ] Velish the Lieutenant, Anathema to the Empire
"But nowhere did it say that it was against Imperial Law to have a name
that sounds like a German asking for some relish!"
[ Cloud ] Grifiths the Guardian of the Forest
Oh boy, we all know about this. A ranger named Grifiths? Notice though,
it's only got one "f" this time!
[ D-Elf ] Wraihern the Theurgist
About time we had a w name. W's used to be so popular. This is still a stupid name -
I don't have a reason, it just looks gay
[ W-Elf ] Danai the Master Poetess
Looks like this wood-elf will "Da-nied"
[ Arial ] Yairs the Heroine
Like that Outkast song, "Oh Yay-er"
[ D-Elf ] Xalthien the Student Theurgist
Here we, we were doing pretty good with no x's there too
[ Dwarf ] Grogan the Myrmidon
Ah, he chose an ugly real surname. Guess it works
[ Elf ] Azarnil the Veteran
What, I thought only drow like z's
[ Felar ] Rukkammiel the Yama Arashi
I'm starting to get tired... I mean this name looks kinda silly,
with that rukka and all, yet for some reason, I cannot fully attack it
[ Arial ] Cheki the Overlord
Oh yeah, I'm awake again, what the hell is this shit, is he slavic?
Does he like to check things? Does he like Chek soda?
[Hit Return to continue]

[ Human ] (PK) Niro the Elegist
Remember, Roman and Greek references are okay, not modern things from
pop culture. Doesn't mean this name isn't lame as f*ck
[ Cloud ] Ioanis the Master of Copper
Sounds kinda like Yo' Anus, isn't I a y in some other language?
[ W-Elf ] Illora the Drummer
F*cking wood-elf players, I can't think of anything
[ Human ] Ronechet the Seeker
Guess we have another french character. I can just see the thought
process: "Ricochet would be a cool name, I'll change it to Ronechet, yeah!"
[ Felar ] [ARBITER] Mirmyra the Baroness of Thunder
I accept this name, although it sounds a cancerous mole or something
[ Elf ] Astalon the Wizard
It really means "As Stalin", trust me. This elf won't be good for long
[ Cloud ] Morkan the Baron of Ice
"Morkandmindy? Nah, they'd catch that..."
[ Elf ] Elamnaster the Master Singer
So, is this Elmaster's character?
[ Fire ] Krolg the Underlord
Me giant, me name start with K; end with G
[51 Elf Bar] [TROUPE] Tathlyn Ceredente, Eternal Minstrel of Mirth
No fair, how'd they get a last name?
[ Human ] Arkeleb the Rogue Knight
Yes, evil people choose k over c. I admit to liking this name tho
[ Human ] Tastagro the Elder Spy
Sounds like a spanish bandit. which i guess is good?
[ Elf ] Alurian the Warlock
Sounds like a car. oh, that's an Alero, nevermind
[ Fire ] Zarxion the Knight
ooh, he's really really evil, a Z and an X
[ Elf ] Iracundur the Planewalker, Servant of the Dawn
Notice, he used a c, not a k
[ Fire ] Vargus the Baron of Hurricanes, Hunter of Citizens
Huh, I thought Vargus was from that old perma-group with Stiles
(another winner of a name) and someone else?
[ Elf ] Astillian the Jingle Foot, Head of the Bar
Aha, last time you did not effectively process my sarcasm about
elven names -- for this, I reveal the truth about your own name:
"Ass Til Lion"!
[ Human ] Armengar the Taiotoshi
Armen, the distinguished-sounding part, plus gar! the evil part!
[ Svirf ] Jeijelel the Gladiator
What?
[ Storm ] [ARBITER] Ferenil the Demon Slayer
Sounds like one those elements at the end of the periodic table
[Hit Return to continue]

[ Gnome ] Qanoon the Student of Alteration
So, we see a Manshoon, someone has to make another *oon?
Notice the Q without the u, though, always a clever trick!
[ Elf ] Iieeo the Medium of Magic
Holy shit would Pat Sajak have a field day with this
[ Elf ] Zepherille the Scholar of Magic
Woah, a Z in the name of a good character? Guess it means like a
Zephyr of the hills or some shit. Must be a Sylvan, either air sphere
or air major, I bet
[ Duerg ] Mikhail the Master of the Elements, Anathema to the Empire
Like any Emperor would let Gorbachev last in the Empire
[ Arial ] Malathalas the Master of Kamae
my god, all the a's. But he's got Mal, at the beginning, at least we
know he's evil

Players found: 48

Thank god this was from the morning, I couldn't handle anymore.

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