Posted by Juzrisium on September 29, 2000 at 08:20:03:

In Reply to: One morning in the office... (a short parody in the form of a log) posted by Harlequin on September 29, 2000 at 06:04:33:

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> > <100%hp 100%m 100%mv> look > A cubicle > A small gray desk takes up most of the room here. An almost obscenely small > monitor taunts you with the possibility of mudding. Cramped as it is, you call > this place home for forty hours a week. > [Exits: south] > <100%hp 100%m 100%mv> where > People near you: > (PK) Bossman A much larger office > (PK) Unixadmin A cubicle > (PK) Netpunk A cubicle > (PK) Harlequin A cubicle > (PK) Enduser A cubicle > (PK) Vipman A much, much, much larger office > <100%hp 100%m 100%mv> sigh > You sigh. > <100%hp 100%m 100%mv> aff > You are affected by: > Malady: ‘boredom’ modifies intelligence by –10 for 8 hours > Malady: ‘boredom’ modifies dexterity by –10 for 8 hours > Malady: ‘boredom’ modifies none by 0 for 8 hours > Skill: ‘detect network problems’ modifies none by 0 for 8 hours > Skill: ‘question evasion’ modifies none by 0 for 8 hours > Skill: ‘tech speak’ modifies none by 0 for 8 hours > <100%hp 100%m 100%mv> > You yawn uncontrollably as your boredom seeps through to your bones! > Your yawning scratches you. > <99%hp 100%m 100%mv> mutter > You mutter to yourself. > <99%hp 100%m 100%mv> Enduser has arrived. > <99%hp 100%m 100%mv> Enduser says ‘Did you know the network is down?’ > <100%hp 100%m 100%mv> roll > You roll your eyes in disgust. > <100%hp 100%m 100%mv> l monitor > While obscenely small, it gets the job done. Blinking lights in several > applications appear to monitor the status of the local and wide area > network. > The network is in perfect health. > <100%hp 100%m 100%mv> ‘Okay, genius. Tell me why you think the network is down. > You say ‘Okay, genius. Tell me why you think the network is down.’ > <100%hp 100%m 100%mv> Enduser looks angry. > Enduser is filled with his own sense of self worth. > Enduser readies himself to attack. > <100%hp 100%m 100%mv> Enduser says ‘Well, I can’t get to the internet. The network is down.’ > <100%hp 100%m 100%mv> mutter > You mutter to yourself. > <100%hp 100%m 100%mv> ping cisco.com > Ping. PONG! > <100%hp 100%m 100%mv> ‘Network is fine. > You say ‘Network is fine’ > <100%hp 100%m 100%mv> Enduser gets angrier. > <100%hp 100%m 100%mv> Enduser says ‘I’m telling you, the network is down!!’ > <100%hp 100%m 100%mv> yawn > You yawn. > <100%hp 100%m 100%mv> ‘Can you get your email? > You say ‘Can you get your email?’ > <100%hp 100%m 100%mv> Enduser says ‘Yes.’ > <100%hp 100%m 100%mv> ‘Are all your network applications, aside from your web browser, working okay? > You say ‘Are all your network applications, aside from your web browser, working okay?’ > <100%hp 100%m 100%mv> Enduser says ‘Well… Yes.’ > <100%hp 100%m 100%mv> ‘Network is fine. G’way. > You say ‘Network is fine. G’way.’ > <100%hp 100%m 100%mv> Enduser turns red in the face. > Enduser begins to hyperventilate. > <100%hp 100%m 100%mv> roll > You roll your eyes in disgust. > <100%hp 100%m 100%mv> Enduser says ‘THE NETWORK IS DOWN!!’ > <100%hp 100%m 100%mv> ‘Are you trying to look at porn again? > You say ‘Are you trying to look at porn again?’ > <100%hp 100%m 100%mv> Enduser says ‘Uh. No. Wouldn’t think of doing such a thing at work.’ > <100%hp 100%m 100%mv> ‘So, the network is… > You say ‘So, the network is…’ > <100%hp 100%m 100%mv> Enduser mutter to himself angrily. > <100%hp 100%m 100%mv> Enduser says ‘The network is fine.’ > <100%hp 100%m 100%mv> Enduser leaves south. > <100%hp 100%m 100%mv> smirk > You smirk to yourself quietly. > <100%hp 100%m 100%mv> > Your boredom attacks when you least expect it causing you to doze off. > As you doze off, a napjerk strikes! > Your napjerk wounds you. > <98%hp 100%m 100%mv> drink coffee > Your coffee cup is empty. > <98%hp 100%m 100%mv> get coffee > You pick up your coffee cup. > <98%hp 100%m 100%mv> south > It might have wheels but do you really want to take your chair with you? > <98%hp 100%m 100%mv> stand > You stand up. > <98%hp 100%m 100%mv> south > A hallway > To each side of you lies cubicle upon cubicle. They stretch as far as the eye > can see, threatening to drive you mad with their sameness. Glancing around, > you do see the few offices reserved for those who rank higher on the food chain. > [Exits: north east south west] > <98%hp 100%m 100%mv> brief > Brief descriptions activated. > <98%hp 100%m 100%mv> east > east > east > east > east > <98%hp 100%m 100%mv> A hallway > [Exits: north east south west] > <98%hp 100%m 100%mv> A hallway > [Exits: north east south west] > <98%hp 100%m 100%mv> A hallway > [Exits: north east south west] > <98%hp 100%m 100%mv> A break room > [Exits: west] > (Hyper) Netpunk is here. > <98%hp 100%m 100%mv> groan > You groan loudly. > <98%hp 100%m 100%mv> Netpunk drinks some coffee. > Netpunk is moving more quickly. > <98%hp 100%m 100%mv> Netpunk says ‘HiHarlequinIhavesomequestionsIneedtoaskyouifyouhaveafewminutes.’ > <98%hp 100%m 100%mv> ‘Well, I had planned on getting back to my cubicle as… > You say ‘Well, I had planned on getting back to my cubicle as… > <98%hp 100%m 100%mv>Netpunk says ‘Great.Firstcanyoumovemefromthe10megabitconnectioninmyofficetothegigabitethernet?Ithinkmyworkloadwarrantsit’ > <98%hp 100%m 100%mv> ignore netpunk > You begin ignoring Netpunk, nodding and making affirmative noises when you think > appropriate. > <98%hp 100%m 100%mv> fill cup > You fill your cup with fresh coffee. > <98%hp 100%m 100%mv> examine cup > A coffee cup with the words “The network is fine” printed in large black letters is here. > It is full of a black liquid. > <98%hp 100%m 100%mv> dr coffee > You drink coffee from a cup. > You feel yourself moving more quickly. > A slight ringing fills your ears. > <98%hp 100%m 100%mv> mutter > You mutter to yourself. > <98%hp 100%m 100%mv> aff > You are affected by: > Malady: ‘caffeine overdose’ modifies none by 0 for 4 hours > Spell: ‘caffeine boost’ modifies none by 0 for 4 hours > Malady: ‘boredom’ modifies intelligence by –10 for 7 hours > Malady: ‘boredom’ modifies dexterity by –10 for 7 hours > Malady: ‘boredom’ modifies none by 0 for 7 hours > Skill: ‘detect network problems’ modifies none by 0 for 7 hours > Skill: ‘question evasion’ modifies none by 0 for 7 hours > Skill: ‘tech speak’ modifies none by 0 for 7 hours > <98%hp 100%m 100%mv> glare netpunk > You glare icily at him. > <98%hp 100%m 100%mv> ignore netpunk > You stop ignoring Netpunk, actually listening to what he says. > <98%hp 100%m 100%mv> Netpunk says ‘ButifwedothatIfigurewewouldhavetoshutdownhalfthenetworkbutwhowouldnotice?’ > <98%hp 100%m 100%mv> ‘You made this coffee, didn’t you? > You say ‘Youmadethiscoffee,didn’tyou?’ > <98%hp 100%m 100%mv> Netpunk nods quickly, obviously very pleased with himself. > <98%hp 100%m 100%mv>shake > You shake your head. > <98%hp 100%m 100%mv> west > <98%hp 100%m 100%mv> A hallway > [Exits: north east south west] > Netpunk has arrived. > <98%hp 100%m 100%mv> west > <98%hp 100%m 100%mv> A hallway > [Exits: north east south west] > Netpunk has arrived > <98%hp 100%m 100%mv> nofollow > You stop accepting followers. > Netpunk stops following you. > <98%hp 100%m 100%mv> west > west > west > north > <98%hp 100%m 100%mv> A hallway > [Exits: north east south west] > <98%hp 100%m 100%mv> A hallway > [Exits: north east south west] > <98%hp 100%m 100%mv> A hallway > [Exits: north east south west] > <98%hp 100%m 100%mv> A cubicle > [Exits: south] > <98%hp 100%m 100%mv> l clock > You look at the clock wondering if time could possibly crawl any slower… Yes, yes it can. > <98%hp 100%m 100%mv> time > It is 8 o'clock AM, Friday, 29th of the Month of September. > The moon is currently down. > You woke up at Fri Sep 29 05:45:00 2000 > The actual time is Fri Sep 29 08:30:14 2000 > <98%hp 100%m 100%mv> sigh > You sigh. > >

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