This is all I wanted, constructive crit. Thank you, observer.n/t

This is all I wanted, constructive crit. Thank you, observer.n/t:
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Posted by Ganteron on October 1, 2000 at 07:59:53:

In Reply to: just a few things that cought my eye posted by observer on October 1, 2000 at 07:47:17:

> Your description and role might have been better if you only didn't use all of those short sentences.. I mean.. it is like.. "he has brown eyes. his face is fair. he looks determined.." it doesn't look all that good.. try to put more.. erm, atributes to it, so it will come out like longer sentences, and it will be better i think.

> as for shokai.. i have had a couple of clerics under him, and never had a problem with the time it took to get empowered. though, if you don't have time to wait for your lord to answer your prayers, i strongly advise you against playing one of the cleric classees, especially not paladins.

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Comments:	> > Your description and role might have been better if you only didn't use all of those short sentences.. I mean.. it is like.. "he has brown eyes. his face is fair. he looks determined.." it doesn't look all that good.. try to put more.. erm, atributes to it, so it will come out like longer sentences, and it will be better i think. > > as for shokai.. i have had a couple of clerics under him, and never had a problem with the time it took to get empowered. though, if you don't have time to wait for your lord to answer your prayers, i strongly advise you against playing one of the cleric classees, especially not paladins.