I found this on an old drive I was looking through.  I also have Harlequin's Cabal Meeting and the South Park Parody if anyone wants to see it.

Can someone remind me of some of the characters in this skit?  I know the names were taken from real chars back in the day.  Crewso killed me a few times I remember.  I also remember Ygnacia,
Galmugus, Crullers, and Eriwail but in name only.  Not much other than that.
  
Anyway, enjoy.
   
Knighthood1
Posted by Naddok * on 14:26:35 12/8/2004: 
A Hallway 
This plain, unadorned hallway leads north and south. The walls are a dull grey 
expanse of cold metal, with no ornamentation to break the monotony. The hallway 
leads from the turbolift to a large observation chamber north of you. Through 
the door you see the glitter of stars. 
[exits: north south] 
An Imperial Guardsman stands here, stiffly at attention. 
An Imperial Guardsman stands here, stiffly at attention. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> who knight 
[51 Human Pal](PK) Luke the Paladin Hero, Jedi Knight 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> breath 
You take a deep breath, preparing yourself for what lies ahead. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> n 
The Observation Chamber 
A vast dark room stretches before you. Silent figures line the walls, but they 
seem of no significance. Your gaze is irresistably drawn past the glowtubes and 
bulkheads to the huge window straight ahead. Outside the station, ste stars 
float in glory, their timeless and unchanging light mocking the greatest of 
civilization's triumphs, and in their pitiless gaze, even a Death Star dwindles 
to insignificance. Beneath the portal, upon a raised dias, is a black admiral's 
chair, like the throne of an Emperor. 
[Exits: south] 
Palpatine the Holy of Faith, Emperor of the Galaxy is here. 
Vader the Hero of Death, Imperial Dreadlord is here. 
An Imperial Centurion stands stiffly at attention. 
An Imperial Centurion stands stiffly at attention. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Palpatine says 'Welcome, young Skywalker. I have been expecting you.' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Palpatine says 'You no longer need those.' 
The stiffness in your body disappears. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Palpatine says 'Guards, leave us.' 
An Imperial Centurion fades into thin air. 
An Imperial Centurion fades into thin air. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Palpatine says 'I'm looking forward to completing your training. In time, you 
will..' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Akuma has arrived. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Akuma says 'any spares?' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Vader sighs. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
A tesseract opens in mid-air. 
Aroloser steps out of a tesseract. 
A shadowy assassin droid steps out of a tesseract. 


<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Akuma yells 'Help, I'm being attacked by a shadowy assassin droid!' 
A shadowy assassin droid's blast ===OBLITERATES=== Akuma! 
A shadowy assassin droid's blast ===OBLITERATES=== Akuma! 
Akuma yells 'Help, I'm being attacked by Aroloser!' 
Aroloser's blast ***DEVASTATES*** Akuma! 
Akuma is DEAD! R.I.P. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Aroloser says 'Hm, that's 453 for me and 391 for you.' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
A shadowy assassin droid beeps loudly. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Aroloser says 'Let's go kill Abernaughty now; he's only lost 6 con points to us 
so far.' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Aroloser vanishes through a tesseract. 
A shadowy assassin droid vanishes through a tesseract. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Palpatine says 'Um. Where were we?' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> say You are gravely mistaken. You won't convert me as you 
did my father. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> You say 'You are gravely mistaken. You won't convert me as 
you did my father.' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
You are now WANTED!! 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Galmugus tells you 'for possession of the lightsaber Humansunder.' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> reply What? I don't have that! 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> You tell Galmugus 'What? I don't have that!' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Galmugus tells you 'Oh. Sorry.' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
You are no longer wanted. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Palpatine mutters quietly to himself. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Palpatine says 'yes, right, umm.. Oh, no, my young Jedi. You will find that it 
is you who are mistaken... about a great many things.' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Vader says 'His lightsaber.' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Vader gives a shimmering blue lightsaber to Palpatine. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Palpatine says 'Ah, yes, a Jedi's weapon...' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Someone has summoned you! 
Imperial Hydroponics 
Trays of water lined up under bright lights here grow fresh vegetables for the 
Imperial troopers' meals. 
[Exits: south west] 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> s 
The wall of thorns tears at your flesh, pulling you back! 

<1014hp 643m 400mv> 
Sermuck steps out from his cover. 

<1014hp 643m 400mv> 
Sermuck says 'Oh. Sorry, wrong person.' 

<1014hp 643m 400mv> 
Vader has summoned you! 
The Observation Chamber 
A vast dark room stretches before you. Silent figures line the walls, but they 
seem of no significance. Your gaze is irresistably drawn past the glowtubes and 
bulkheads to the huge window straight ahead. Outside the station, ste stars 
float in glory, their timeless and unchanging light mocking the greatest of 
civilization's triumphs, and in their pitiless gaze, even a Death Star dwindles 
to insignificance. Beneath the portal, upon a raised dias, is a black admiral's 
chair, like the throne of an Emperor. 
[Exits: south] 
Palpatine the Holy of Faith, Emperor of the Galaxy is here. 
Vader the Hero of Death, Imperial Dreadlord is here. 

<1014hp 643m 400mv> 
Vader mutters quietly to himself. 

<1014hp 643m 400mv> 
Palpatine says 'You must know your father can never be turned from the Dark 
side. So shall it be with you.' 

<1014hp 643m 400mv> wry 
You smile wryly. 

<1014hp 643m 400mv> say You're wrong. Soon I'll be dead... and you with me.' 
You say 'You're wrong. Soon I'll be dead... and you with me.' 

<1014hp 643m 400mv> 
Palpatine throws back his head, cackling with insane glee! 

<1014hp 643m 400mv> 
Palpatine says 'perhaps you refer to the imminent attack of your Rebel fleet.' 

<1014hp 643m 400mv> gasp 
You gasp. 

<1014hp 643m 400mv> 
Palpatine chuckles softly. 'Yes, I assure you, we are quite safe from your 
little friends here.' 

<1014hp 643m 400mv> 
Crullers yells 'emote stuffs a handful of credits down Aerial's halter top.' 

<1014hp 643m 400mv> 
Vader snickers. 

<1014hp 643m 400mv> 
Crullers yells "Oops. :P' 

<1014hp 643m 400mv> roll 
You roll your eyes. 

<1014hp 643m 400mv> say Your overconfidence is your weakness. 
You say 'Your overconfidence is your weakness.' 

<1014hp 643m 400mv> 
Palpatine says 'And your faith in your friends is yours.' 

<1014hp 643m 400mv> 
Ygnacia steps out of a gate. 

<1014hp 643m 400mv> 
Ygnacia says 'Luke! I am your mother!' 

<1014hp 643m 400mv> 
Vader gasps. 

<1014hp 643m 400mv> 
Palpatine realizes his jaw is gaping, and closes it with a snap. 

<1014hp 643m 400mv> 
Ygnacia says 'Awwh, look, little Lukey's all grown up.' 

<1014hp 643m 400mv> boggle 
The mind boggles. 

<1014hp 643m 400mv> 
Ygnacia says 'And with such a great, big *lightsaber*!' 

<1014hp 643m 400mv> 
Ygnacia pinches your cheek. 

<1014hp 643m 400mv> 
Ygnacia gives you an etched saarlacscale pendant. 

<1014hp 643m 400mv> 
Ygnacia steps through a gate and vanishes. 

<1014hp 643m 400mv> stare vader 
You stare at Vader in shock and disbelief. 

<1014hp 643m 400mv> 
Vader says 'My son, I...' 

<1014hp 643m 400mv> say Father! How could you? 
You say 'Father! How could you?' 

<1014hp 643m 400mv> 
You are now WANTED!! 

<1014hp 643m 400mv> 
Akuma has arrived. 

<1014hp 643m 400mv> 
Galmugus tells you 'For possession of an etched saarlacscale pendant.' 

<1014hp 643m 400mv> 
Akuma says 'any spares?' 

<1014hp 643m 400mv> grin 
You grin evilly. 

<1014hp 643m 400mv> nod akuma 
You nod to him. 

<1014hp 643m 400mv> give pendant akuma 
You give an etched saarlacscale pendant to Akuma. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> reply What? I don't have that either!!' 
You tell Galmugus 'What? I don't have that either!!' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
You are no longer wanted. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Akuma is now WANTED!! 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Akuma vanishes suddenly. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Akuma yells 'Help, I'm being attacked by the Enfarcer!' 
Akuma yells 'Help, I'm being attacked by an Imperial Stormtrooper!' 
Akuma yells 'Help, I'm being attacked by an Imperial Stormtrooper!' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Palpatine snickers with you about your shared secret. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> smirk 
You smirk. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Palpatine says 'Now then.' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Palpatine says 'Your friends in the Temple Moon are walking into a trap... as is 
your Rebel fleet.' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> say No! 
You say 'No!' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Outside the observation chamber, points of light swell into the shapes of 
starfighters rapidly approaching. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> gasp 
You gasp in disbelief. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
The fighters suddenly swerve, trying to escape, but several crash into the 
deflector shield and explode in bright flashes of light! 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> say It can't be! 
You say 'It can't be!' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Palpatine drops a shimmering blue lightsaber. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Palpatine says 'You want this, don't you? The hate is swelling in you now.' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Palpatine says 'Take it. Strike me down. Give in to your anger. Which each 
passing moment...' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Captain Kirk steps out of a transporter beam. 
Mr. Spock steps out of a transporter beam. 
Dr. McCoy steps out of a transporter beam. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Mr. Spock says 'Fascinating, captain.' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Palpatine raises an eyebrow at Mr. Spock. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Mr. Spock raises an eyebrow at Palpatine. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Vader cleaves Mr. Spock in half! 
Mr. Spock's guts spew onto the ground. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Dr. McCoy says 'he's dead, Jim!' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Vader's slash ***DEVASTATES*** Dr. McCoy! 
Vader swings a pulsing red lightsaber in a wide arc, lopping off Dr. McCoy's 
head! 
Dr. McCoy's head falls to the ground. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Captain Kirk says 'This is... impossible! What sort of blood... thirsty 
creatures are... you?' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Palpatine narrows his eyes and glares at Captain Kirk. 
Withering from the inside, Captain Kirk rots and crumbles to dust! 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> laugh 
You laugh. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
You are now WANTED!! 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Galmugus tells you 'for possession of two black sun pendants.' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> reply I don't have any pendants, and what's your reasoning?' 
You tell Galmugus 'I don't have any pendants, and what's your reasoning?' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
You are no longer wanted. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Galmugus tells you 'We Imperial Arbiters do our jobs more efficiently when in 
possession of certain limited items.' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Galmugus tells you 'By possessing those items without Arbiter permission, you 
hinder our ability to keep order.' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Galmugus tells you 'therefore, to hold a limited item is to help criminals, and 
thus a crime.' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> reply that's bull! 
You tell Galmugus 'that's bull! 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 

Knighthood2
Posted by Naddok * on 14:27:10 12/8/2004: 
While Luke deals with the oxymoronic threat of corrupt Arbiters, spare-seeking 
newbies, and lust-crazed drow, the folk down on Endor have their own problems... 


[EMPIRE] The Imperial Vanquisher: Han is attacking the cabal! 

The Shield Generator 
[exits: down] 
The Centurion Omegus guards the shield generator with his life. 
Macdonald the Hero of Alteration is here. 
Alexisixisixisixisix the Knight Hero is here. 
Mumps the Hero of Alteration is here. 
Kadisigh the Anti-Hero is here. 
Eriwail the Hero of Alteration is here. 
Alwhinera the Holy Hero is here. 

<781hp 421m 400mv> say Right, they'll be here soon. 
You say 'Right, they'll be here soon.' 

<781hp 421m 400mv> 
Macdonald says 'Eh, we're ready for them, eh, eh, eh' 

<781hp 421m 400mv> 
Mumps scribbles something on a datapadd: yep. 

<781hp 421m 400mv> say Do any of you have any extra clothing? I'll look 
ridiculous waving this axe around naked 
You say 'Do any of you have any extra clothing? I'll look ridiculous waving this 
axe around naked' 

<781hp 421m 400mv> 
Macdonald shakes his head. 

<781hp 421m 400mv> rem axe 
You stop using a long-hafted vibroaxe. 

<781hp 421m 400mv> wield axe 
You wield a long-hafted vibroaxe. 

<781hp 421m 400mv> 

<781hp 421m 400mv> 
Kadisigh says 'I could summon in some rancors again' 

<781hp 421m 400mv> 
Mumps whispers 'Yeah, kill us all, great plan' 


<781hp 421m 400mv> 
[EMPIRE] The Imperial Vanquisher: Alas, I am slain... 


<781hp 421m 400mv> say Here we go. 
You say 'Here we go.' 

<781hp 421m 400mv> 
Mumps has left the game. 

<781hp 421m 400mv> 
Alexisixisixisixisix has left the game. 
Eriwail has left the game. 

<781hp 421m 400mv> 
Macdonald has left the game. 

<781hp 421m 400mv> 
Kadisigh has left the game. 

<781hp 421m 400mv> say Oh, wonderful. 
You say 'Oh, wonderful.' 

<781hp 421m 400mv> 
Alwhinera has left the game. 

<781hp 421m 400mv> yell I'll take you all on! 
You yell 'I'll take you all on!' 

<781hp 421m 400mv> 
Kanthearion has summoned you! 
The Gates 
[Exits: north south] 
Kanthearion the Paladin Hero is here. 
Hvlitacky the Hero of Death is here. 

<781hp 421m 400mv> 
Hvlitacky zaps you with a heavy stunner. 
You yell 'Help, I've been shot!' 
Your muscles freeze up, you can't do anything! 

<781hp 421m 400mv> 
Chitlin yells 'Is it safe?' 

<781hp 421m 400mv> 
Kanthearion yells 'He's stunned, he's naked, he's got a dumb little axe... yeah, 
it's safe' 

<781hp 421m 400mv> 
Chitlin yells 'An axe? If he has a weapon, gangbanging him is honorable, right?' 

<781hp 421m 400mv> 
Hvlitacky yells 'Yep.' 

<781hp 421m 400mv> 
Chitlin yells 'Man, I wish I was a Bloodthirsty Knight again... I loved 
honorable combat' 

<781hp 421m 400mv> 
Kanthearion yells 'That's where two Jedi Squires hold the guy down while you 
kick him in the privates, right?' 

<781hp 421m 400mv> 
Chitlin yells 'That's right.' 

<781hp 421m 400mv> 
Chitlin yells 'You sure he's stunned? You'd better hit him first, just to be 
safe.' 

<781hp 421m 400mv> 
Kanthearion yells 'Right.' 

<781hp 421m 400mv> 
You yell 'Help, Kanthearion is attacking me!' 
Kanthearion's wrath ***DEMOLISHES*** you! 
Kanthearion's wrath MANGLES you 
Kanthearion's wrath ***DEMOLISHES*** you! 

<528hp 421m 400mv> 
Chitlin has arrived. 
Illwrath has arrived. 
Crasstina has arrived. 
Groutch has arrived. 
Lousedanan has arrived. 

<528hp 421m 400mv> 
You yell 'Help, Chitlin is bashing me!' 
Chitlin slams into you, sending you flying! 
Chitlin's slash MANGLES you 
Chitlin's slash DISEMBOWELS you 
Illwrath's slice ***DEMOLISHES*** you! 
Crasstina's pound devastates you 
Groutch's pierce MUTILATES you 
Lousedanan's searing light ***DEVASTATES*** you! 
Lousedanan's searing light <<>> you! 
You have been KILLED! 


<1hp 1m 400mv> 
An Immortal tells you 'You are now Anathema.' 
You are now Anathema to the Empire. 

<1hp 1m 400mv> delete delete 


Meanwhile, back on the Death Star... 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Palpatine sighs and holds his head in his hand. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Palpatine whispers 'No, Amborelea. I do not want you to paint Luke's picture. 
Nor do I believe the corruption of a soul takes a "woman's touch".' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Amborelea says 'As you command, my master.' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Amborelea grovels on the floor before Palpatine. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Amborelea leaves south. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Palpatine whispers 'Now, where were we?' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> say You were taunting me, I think. 
You say 'You were taunting me, I think.' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Palpatine whispers 'Ah, yes. As is your Rebel fleet.' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Palpatine whispers 'Give in to your hate, young Skywalker.' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> say I will not. 
You say 'I will not.' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Palpatine whispers 'Oh, but you will. As did your father.' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
A servitor droid has arrived. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Palpatine whispers 'What now?!?' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
A servitor droid says 'My humble pardons, your Majesty, but you have to come 
now. There is chaos at the Cantina of the Eternal Star!' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Palpatine whispers 'Oh?' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
A servitor droid says 'Yes, your Majesty. It started when Aerial convinced 
Crullers to join her table-dancing...' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
A servitor droid says 'And then Tiepicker and that Fartibeilas person joined 
her, and this Wookee started a riot' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Palpatine whispers 'let the Arbiters handle it.' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
A servitor droid says 'Yes, your Majesty, that's what I tried to do, but when 
Iomuck and Snoru went in to restore order, well, um...' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
A servitor droid says 'They're... cuffed to the bar, your Majesty. With their 
own manacles. There's talk of neural whips and... butt-plugs?' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Palpatine whispers 'Ah. You are quite right, droid. I must see this... I mean, 
see TO this... personally.' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
A servitor droid leaves south. 
Palpatine leaves south. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Vader says 'Walk with me, my son.' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> eyeb 
You raise an eyebrow. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> say Why? 
You say 'Why?' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Vader says 'Because there are eyes in many places. I would speak freely.' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> nod 
You nod. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> fol vader 
You start following Vader. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> bri 
Brief mode on. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Vader leaves south. 
You follow Vader. 
The Hallway 
[exits: north south] 
Vader the Hero of Death, Imperial Dreadlord is here. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Vader leaves south. 
You follow Vader. 
The Hallway 
[exits: north south] 
Vader the Hero of Death, Imperial Dreadlord is here. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Vader leaves south. 
You follow Vader. 
The Hallway 
[exits: north south] 
Vader the Hero of Death, Imperial Dreadlord is here. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Vader leaves south. 
You follow Vader. 
The Turbolift 
[exits: north] 
An Imperial Stormtrooper stands at attention here. 
Slo the Transmuter is here. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Slo utters the words 'ghix'. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Vader says 'deck 3' 
The door slides shut behind you and the turbolift lurches into motion. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Slo utters the words 'ghix'. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Vader says 'Now we may talk privately, my son.' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Slo utters the words 'ghix'. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Slo utters the words 'ghix'. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Vader says 'Or... not.' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Slo utters the words 'ghix'. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Slo utters the words 'ghix'. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Slo utters the words 'ghix'. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Vader says 'Remove yourself, young one.' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Slo utters the words 'ghix'. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Slo gets a ration bar from a backpack. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Slo eats a ration bar. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Slo utters the words 'ghix'. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Vader fumes angrily. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Slo utters the words 'ghix'. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Slo utters the words 'ghix'. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
The gods protect Slo from Vader. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Slo utters the words 'ghix'. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Vader says 'Begone!' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Slo utters the words 'ghix'. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Slo utters the words 'ghix'. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Slo utters the words 'ghix'. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Slo utters the words 'ghix'. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> say Hm. 
You say 'Hm.' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Slo utters the words 'ghix'. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> say You are hungry. 
You say ' You are hungry. ' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Slo gets a ration bar from a backpack. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Slo eats a ration bar. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Slo utters the words 'ghix'. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> snicker 
You snicker softly. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Slo utters the words 'ghix'. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Slo utters the words 'ghix'. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Vader sighs deeply. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Slo utters the words 'ghix'. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Slo utters the words 'ghix'. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Vader says ' You are thirsty. ' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Slo drinks water from a canteen. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Slo utters the words 'ghix'. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Slo utters the words 'ghix'. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Slo utters the words 'ghix'. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Slo utters the words 'ghix'. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Slo utters the words 'ghix'. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Slo utters the words 'ghix'. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Slo utters the words 'ghix'. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> say I have an idea. 
You say 'I have an idea.' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Slo utters the words 'ghix'. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Slo utters the words 'ghix'. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> say You yell 'Die, stormtrooper, you sorcerous dog! 
You say ' You yell 'Die, stormtrooper, you sorcerous dog! ' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Slo says 'How dare you interrupt my studies!' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Slo's mental knife MANGLES an Imperial Stormtrooper! 
An Imperial Stormtrooper's blast ***DEVASTATES*** Slo! 
An Imperial Stormtrooper's blast >>>ERADICATES<<< Slo! 
Slo is dead! R.I.P. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Vader laughs. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Vader says 'Well done.' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> say What did you wish to say, father?' 
You say 'What did you wish to say, father?' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Vader says 'I... have forgotten.' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> say Ah. 
You say 'Ah.' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
The turbolift doors slide open on Deck 3. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 

Knighthood3
Posted by Naddok * on 14:27:40 12/8/2004: 
With the shield generator down, and the Imperials scattered, the Ewoks start 
their mopping-up operation: 

[EWOK] *purr* That's the last AT-AT walker. Are there any troopers left? 

[EWOK] There's one over here by the village 

[EWOK] Protect the forests! Kill!!! 

[EWOK] This one fell off a speeder-bike, he's nearly dead. 

[EWOK] Protect the forests! Kill!!! 

[EWOK] Hey, there's a guy in a leather jacket coming out of the building, with a 
girl and a big hairy thing. 

[EWOK] Protect the forests! Kill!!! 

[EWOK] Didn't they help us kill the Imperials? 

[EWOK] They are not of the forest! Kill!!! 

[EWOK] Okay, wall of thorns set up. 

[EWOK] They're dead. 

[EWOK] *snicker* Come look at these idiot droids wandering around 

[EWOK] They are not of the forest! Protect the forest! Kill!!! 

[EWOK] Wall of thorns set up 

[EWOK] They're dead. 

[EWOK] Woah, a shuttle just landed and some guy with a lightsaber's coming out. 

[EWOK] Protect the forest! Kill!!! 

[EWOK] Wall of thorns set up 

[EWOK] They're dead. 

[EWOK] There's nothing left to kill.. I mean, threaten the forests, now what do 
we do? 

[EWOK] Why, we live in harmony with nature and the natural world, of course! 

[EWOK] Great! I've got the mushrooms, who's got the toad? 

Okay, so this hasn't happened yet. No problem, I'm the narrator, I can ignore 
all natural laws or cause and effect if I want to. So there. 

Back on the Death Star: 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Vader says 'Let us return, and await the Emperor's coming.' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Vader says 'observation deck' 
The doors of the turbolift slide shut and it lurches into motion. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> say Father, please! I sense the good in you. Turn from the 
dark side. 
You say 'Father, please! I sense the good in you. Turn from the dark side.' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Vader sighs deeply. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Vader says 'You cannot comprehend the power of the Dark, or of the Emperor. I am 
beyond redemption.. as you shall be.' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> say I will not believe that. 
You say 'I will not believe that.' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
The turbolift suddenly lurches to a stop, and the doors slide open on deck 6. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> say What? 
You say 'What?' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Vader says 'There is an Imperial matter... normally my master would deal with 
it, but he is... indisposed.' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Vader says 'Wait here.' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
You stop following Vader. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Vader leaves south. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> shrug 
You shrug helplessly. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> s 
A Hallway 
[exits: north east west] 
Amborelea the Bard Hero is sitting here. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Amborelea sings 'Don't like the drugs 
But the drugs like me 
Don't like the drugs, the drugs, the drugs, the drugs...' 
You feel a surge of alcoholic warmth rush through your veins. 
Your feet raise off the ground. 
You start moving faster. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Amborelea chuckles politely. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Amborelea stands up. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Amborelea leaves west. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Akuma has arrived. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Akuma says 'any spares?' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> shake 
You shake your head. 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Amborelea yells 'Help, I'm being attacked by a shadowy assassin droid!' 
Amborelea yells 'Help, I'm being attacked by Aroloser!' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Scoreus has arrived. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Akuma says 'hi scoreus any spares?' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Scoreus says 'Tell you what. You tell me all the secret quests you know for my 
tourist guide to the Death Star, and I'll request hero-level stuff for you.' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Akuma says 'cool!' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Akuma joins Scoreus's group. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Scoreus leaves east. 
Akuma leaves east. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> roll 
You roll your eyes. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Ender yells 'Help, someone kicked dirt in my eyes! 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Ender yells 'Help, someone is attacking me!' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Ender yells 'Help, someone is attacking me!' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Ender has arrived. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Ender falls on his knees, begging you for help! 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> 
Ender says 'Help me, kind sir, please! A madman is after me!' 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> nod 
You nod. 

<1024hp 643m 400mv> com sanc ender 
Ender is surrounded by a white aura. 

<1024hp 573m 400mv> 
Screwso has arrived. 

<1024hp 573m 400mv> 
Ender yells 'Help, Screwso is attacking me!' 
Screwso's pierce MUTILATES Ender! 
Screwso's pierce devastates Ender! 
Ender's claw injures Screwso. 

<1024hp 573m 400mv> com heal Ender 
Ender looks healthier. 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Screwso leaves west. 
Screwso has fled! 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Screwso yells 'no fair!' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Ender yells 'Why did you assault me?' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Screwso yells 'Anathema must die!!' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Ender yells 'I'm not Anathema!' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Screwso yells 'Take the Bloodoath or die!' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Ender yells 'I AM bloodoathed!' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Screwso yells 'Let only the strong survive to Citizenship!' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Ender yells 'You aren't even a Citizen, you moron!' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Screwso yells 'All Imperials must DIE!!!' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Galmugus yells 'Treason!' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Screwso yells 'Help, Galmugus is attacking me!' 
Screwso yells 'Help, the Enfarcer is attacking me!' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> say You are oathed? You serve evil masters; turn from them, 
lest they destroy you. 
You say 'You are oathed? You serve evil masters; turn from them, lest they 
destroy you.' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Ender says 'Take the oath or die, paladin scum.' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> say What? You were begging me for help, and now you would 
assault me? 
You say 'What? You were begging me for help, and now you would assault me?' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Ender says 'Fool, to help any without compulsion! Now, swear the oath, or die!' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> say Never. 
You say 'Never.' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Ender says 'Then die!' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Orodebt has arrived. 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Ender yells 'Die, Orodebt, you sorcerous dog!' 
Orodebt points at Ender and says 'Die.' 
Ender falls to the ground... DEAD. 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Orodebt grins evilly. 'You're next.' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Orodebt is now WANTED!! 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Galmugus yells 'For possession of a cube of force fields.' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Orodebt vanishes suddenly. 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Orodebt yells 'Help, I'm being attacked by Galmugus! 
Orodebt yells 'help, I'm being attacked by the Enfarcer! 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> sigh 
You sigh deeply. 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Kharless has arrived. 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Kharless says 'The Empire is bad.' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> say Yes. 
You say 'Yes.' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Kharless says 'Really bad.' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> nod 
You nod. 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Kharless says 'Do I get my songs back now?' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
You hear a muffled choking noise, as of an invisible person vainly trying not to 
laugh. 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Kharless sighs. 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Kharless says 'How many people do I have to tell??' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Kharless leaves east. 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Saltinebanko has arrived. 
Guisappy has arrived. 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Saltinebanko looks at you. 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Saltinebanko says 'Hey, guisappy, euk euk, that guy's, like, got a big sword, 
euk euk.' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> boggle 
The mind boggles. 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Guisappy says 'DO YOU MOCK MY SHOVEL?' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Guisappy says 'SILENCE! MY SHOVEL SHALL NOW SPEAK!' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Guisappy says 'THE STREETS SHALL FLOW WITH THE BLOOD OF THE UNBELIEVER!' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Saltinebanko says 'euk. Cool.' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Saltinebanko leaves west. 
Guisappy leaves west. 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Saltinebanko yells 'Help, I'm being attacked by Screwso!' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Guisappy yells 'FEEL THE WRATH OF THE ALMIGHTY SHOVEL!' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
You hear someone's death cry. 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Guisappy yells 'Help, I'm being attacked by Screwso!' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Guisappy yells 'YOU RUN FROM THE MIGHT OF THE SHOVEL!' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Guisappy yells 'Help, someone kicked dirt in my eyes!' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
You hear someone's death cry. 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Screwso yells 'Can someone help me I ate food from Guisappy and i'm dying of 
poison!' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Kiluvatar yells 'Sorry, can't help you, too busy. Any spares?' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Palpatine has summoned you! 
The Observation Chamber 
[exits: south] 
Vader the Hero of Death, Imperial Dreadlord is here. 
Palpatine the Holy of Faith, Emperor of the Galaxy is here. 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Palpatine whispers 'I do not recall giving any of you permission to leave.' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Vader says 'No, my master.' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Palpatine sits down, rather gingerly, on the imperial throne. 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Palpatine whispers 'Now. We will finish this.' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Screwso yells 'Help, Aroloser is attacking me! 
Screwso yells 'Help, a shadowy assassin droid is attacking me!' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Missedju steps out of a tesseract. 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Missedju grovels before Palpatine. 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Palpatine whispers 'Do you wish to be anathema, Lord Adept? I have had all the 
interruptions I wish to take.' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Missedju says 'My master, there is a problem.' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Palpatine says 'Oh?' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Missedju says 'As you ordered, to strengthen the Empire, I created an artificial 
conflict between Magic and Nature...' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Palpatine glances at you swiftly. 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Palpatine whispers 'That is... classified information, Missedju. You had best 
have an excellent excuse.' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Missedju says, rather quickly, 'Of course, my master.' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Missedju says 'There is an Ewok, Hargroan. He of all the galaxy has reasoned out 
the fallacy that our plan was based upon.' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Palpatine whispers 'So have him killed.' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Missedju says 'We would, my master, but.. um.. we can't find him.' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Palpatine whispers 'Not a problem. Lord Vader?' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Vader nods. 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Vader raises a spherical jade phylactery in a clenched fist. 
A spherical jade phylactery flares with an unholy light! 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Vader says 'The Ewok is in an X-wing, my master, en route to Corellia.' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Missedju says 'How can a 3-foot Ewok possibly fly an X-wing?' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Vader says 'As well ask how an Ewok can wear body armor sized for a Wookee, 
Missedju.' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Vader says 'My guess is prosthetics.' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Missedju nods. 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Missedju grovels before Palpatine. 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Missedju vanishes into a tesseract. 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Palpatine whispers 'NOW then...' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Thumk has arrived. 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Thumk says 'NO ONE leaves the Cantina of the Eternal Death Star without the 
three-drink mininum, your Majesty. Not even an Emperor!' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Palpatine yells 'Die, Thumk, you sorcerous dog! 
Thumk points at Palpatine and says 'Die.' 
Vader steps in front of Palpatine, guarding him! 
Thumk's magic ricochets off Vader's armor, striking him! 
Thumk's word of death ===OBLITERATES=== Thumk! 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Thumk's slice ***DEMOLISHES*** Vader! 
Vader's searing light ===OBLITERATES=== Thumk! 
Vader's searing light >>>ERADICATES<<< Thumk! 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Vader raises a jagged crystal phylactery in a clenched fist! 
A jagged crystal phylactery flares with an unholy light! 
Thumk vanishes suddenly. 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Palpatine whispers 'Where did he go?' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Vader says 'I transferred him to the lower decks, my master.' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Palpatine whispers 'Excellent. No one survives that.' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Thumk yells 'Help, Screwso is attacking me!' 
Thumk yells 'Die, Orodebt, you sorcerous dog!' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Thumk yells 'Help, Aroloser is attacking me!' 
Thumk yells 'Help, a shadowy assassin droid is attacking me!' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Palpatine glances at a cronometer on the wall. 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Palpatine whispers 'We have a schedule to keep; do you mind if we skip the 
threats?' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> say Not at all. 
You say 'Not at all.' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Palpatine drops a shimmering blue lightsaber. 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> get all 
You get a shimmering blue lightsaber. 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Palpatine whispers 'Good! Strike me down with all your hatred, and your journey 
toward the dark side will be complete.' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> fume 
You grind your teeth with rage. 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> wield saber 
You wield a shimmering blue lightsaber. 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> murder palpatine 
Palpatine yells 'Help, Luke is attacking me!' 
Vader steps in front of Palpatine, guarding him! 
You parry Vader's attack. 
You parry Vader's attack. 
Vader parries your attack. 
Vader parries your attack. 
Vader parries your attack. 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
You parry Vader's attack. 
You dodge Vader's attack. 
Vader parries your attack. 
Vader parries your attack. 
Vader parries your attack. 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Palpatine whispers 'Good! Use your agressive feelings, boy! Let the hate flow 
through you.' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> com calm 
A wave of peace flows through the area. 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> rem saber 
You stop using a shimmering blue lightsaber. 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Vader says 'Obi-Wan has taught you well.' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> say I will not fight you, Father. 
You say 'I will not fight you, Father.' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Vader says 'You are unwise to lower your defenses.' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> wield saber 
You wield a shimmering blue lightsaber. 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
You yell 'Help, Vader is attacking me! 
You parry Vader's attack. 
You dodge Vader's attack. 
You parry Vader's attack. 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> say Your thoughts betray 
An Immortal has transferred you! 
The Realm of the Dead 
[exits: north south east west up down] 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> you.. What? 
You say 'Your thoughts betray you.. What?' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
An Immortal says 'You won't fight your father, eh? Why, you cowardly F*CK!' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Kenobi fades slowly into existence. 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> say What is this? 
You say 'What is this!' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Kenobi says 'Shut up, you f*ck!' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
You can no longer use channels. 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Kenobi says 'You cowardly, miserable, F*CKER! I raised you from an infant, you 
dishonorable f*ck, and this is how you betray me?!?' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Kenobi says 'You're a disgrace to the Knights! F*ck you!' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Kenobi says 'Won't fight your father? F*ck that! He's evil! Kill him!' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Kenobi says 'F*ck your father! F*ck your mother! F*ck your aunt, f*ck your 
uncle, f*ck their water collectors, f*ck every Ewok on Endor and f*ck the 
speeder bike you rode in on!' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Kenobi forces you to 'who knight' 
[60 Human IMP][KNIGHT] Kenobi the Honorbound, Jedi Knight. 
[51 Human Pal] Luke the Cowardly F*ck, Ex-Jedi 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Kenobi says 'F*CK F*CK F*CK F*CK F*CK!' 

<1024hp 523m 400mv> 
Keonbi slays you in cold blood! 

<1hp 1m 400mv> 
Kenobi slays you in cold blood! 

<1hp 1m 400mv> 
Kenobi slays you in cold blood! 
You feel some of your vitality drain out of you with this death. 

<1hp 1m 400mv> 
Keonbi slays you in cold blood! 

<1hp 1m 400mv> 
Kenobi slays you in cold blood! 

<1hp 1m 400mv> 
Kenobi slays you in cold blood! 
You feel some of your vitality drain out of you with this death. 

<1hp 1m 400mv> 
Keonbi slays you in cold blood! 

<1hp 1m 400mv> 
Kenobi slays you in cold blood! 

<1hp 1m 400mv> 
Kenobi slays you in cold blood! 
You feel some of your vitality drain out of you with this death. 

<1hp 1m 400mv> 
Keonbi slays you in cold blood! 

<1hp 1m 400mv> 
Kenobi slays you in cold blood! 

<1hp 1m 400mv> 
Kenobi slays you in cold blood! 
You feel some of your vitality drain out of you with this death. 

<1hp 1m 400mv> 
Keonbi slays you in cold blood! 

<1hp 1m 400mv> 
Kenobi slays you in cold blood! 

<1hp 1m 400mv> 
Kenobi slays you in cold blood! 
You feel some of your vitality drain out of you with this death. 

<1hp 1m 400mv> 
Kenobi tells you 'You'd better have learned your lesson, you damn f*ck.' 

<1hp 1m 400mv> 
You can speak again. 

<1hp 1m 400mv> tell Vader 'Father, you're right. Bloodoath me. Teach me the way 
of the Dark Side.' 
You tell Vader 'Father, you're right. Bloodoath me. Teach me the way of the Dark 
Side.' 

<1hp 1m 400mv> 
Vader tells you 'Ah, you have learned why I turned to the Dark. Congratulations, 
my son.' 

<1hp 1m 400mv> 
Kenobi tells you 'F*CK YOU!!!!!!!!!!' 

<1hp 1m 400mv> 
You have been denied access. 
Your site has been banned from this MUD. 


*ding* You've got mail! 
From: Kenobi (kenobi@starwars.carrionfields.org) 
CC: 
Subject: F*CK! 

F*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck 
f*ck f*ck f*ck! F*ck you, you bastard! I will destroy you!!! 

Regards, Kenobi 


And thus the trilogy ends. Will there be prequels? Perhaps... 

Yours, in the not-so-distant future 

-the PM