As much as I hate to rehash this, apparently every so often it needs to be brought up again since people keep bringing up the name and events from several years ago. I think from now on I'm just going to link to this post so here goes. Some details aren't exact but this was quite a long time ago so bear with me here.

Back when neo-thieves came around, I made the first trap thief - and made my first Cyradia follower (a member of neo-thief team) and low and behold theives were broken....badly. The "trap" skill didn't actually work, so you couldn't even set traps. I prayed a few times about it, never really heard anything back and then on my next interaction with Cyradia I brought this up. She basically wanted to know what I was doing and I replied in a very IC way that he trap guildmaster really taught me nothing so not a whole lot. She basically raged on me, ripped my tattoo off, summoned some wolves who killed me, and if I remember right went even as far as to full-sac me.

Now during this time, my personal life was about as bad as it can get - you can believe whatever you want, but let's just say it wasn't going well. About a week prior to this I nearly died from anaphylactic/angioedema food allergy that I got around the age of eighteen. My sister not far back had been raped/beaten, and I was pretty much on the way out of my house from constant fights with my parents (ending in a fist fight with my dad and moving in with my sister). I also had a pretty bad problem of lying which Mekantos can attest to so don't think I was any angel during all of this. So what does a typical emotional distraught person do when the Imms screw them over? You take it the main forums and the shit storm began.

In a nut shell, it turns out into a huge immortal bash fest between me, Cyradia, Sebeok, and a few other Immortals. Cyradia basically tells me to fuck off, I post some logs of her going borderline OOC in-game, they start deleting my posts and it turns into this huge thread of name calling and it starts getting personal. I can't remember how the detail came out but it came out that I was allergic to melons and Sebeok, and I'm quoting here, said basically "if I knew where you lived I'd send you a basket of watermelons". He's not exactly the most civil Immortal to deal with and I clearly wasn't either but it threw me over the edge. Oh and I got banned/denied during this so I lash out.

I believe the first time I posted a basic wand list (back when there were maybe 10 sets of locations) and a log of the Inferno. The Immortals, who I believe still posted on Dios, delete it and close the Inferno and begin working on new wand locations. They keep deleting my posts and I eventually walk away...but not for long because honestly I didn't have much else during that time. Few months go by and I got around the ban and play again - they find out who I am and ban me again. This goes on for at least a year or so, where a few others followed in my footsteps (TLB2 or Arolin I think it was) and for quite awhile I'm in the cycle of being banned, find a way through, rage when they ban me again...I eventually move on.

Few years go by, I move out on my own, go to college and start mellowing out a bit. I tried coming back a few times and usually I was banned the moment they found out and I'd try posting an apology thread where I'd get about the same level of hate as today. Eventually some of the Immortals cave in letting me back after a few more quality characters.....who started with Torak who I played out and then admitted in my goodbye thread who I was - some Imms let me back because I know them out of CF, some because they realize I'm trying and have started to grow up, and some Imms who just flat out left and weren't around to fight the decision. Some of the Imms still hold a very strong grudge but I can understand why.

Was I right in my decision or actions? Not at all and I have repeatedly said I fucked up - I've got some problems when it comes to my internet persona and how I always feel the need to defend myself against usually those who just want a negative response out of me. It's hard for me to step away from an argument, especially with how long I've played this game and grown to be good friends with a lot of the players. That and I think a lot of the veterans have problems with directions the game is going, which we usually point to the playerbase numbers as our proof but it could just be the times. I'd like to say that I'm improving but Rawvos was honestly a big step in the wrong direction and I admitted that in his goodbye thread. I really shouldn't have deleted him and was quite disappointed when I couldn't reactivate him because he wasn't high enough. Working in a start-up, having a newborn and 2 year old who won't talk...it's just a rough time and I come to CF to relax, and when it doesn't go right I do stupid shit.

Here's me coughing it up that I screwed up: [www.qhcf.net]

Anyways, there's your history. The term TLB came I believe from Valg, who loves to repeat it, meaning "That Little Bitch" because for awhile there I ruined the game for a lot of people...and a lot of people followed in my footsteps of "getting back at the Imms" with posting secret stuff. I've tried in a lot of ways to fix it but honestly it's nearly impossible given people wanting to keep it going, the trend in this community to troll/hate people for any reason at all and my random screw-ups like Rawvos....I'm like the bad-guy meme of CF. But luckily the Immortals let me still play as bad as a track record I have and I'm being honest when I try to be nice. One of the biggest things I enjoy in CF nowadays is taking people through the Inferno, considering that knowledge is rare and it seems one of the greatest areas in the game doesn't get enough attention.....and I also enjoy telling people stuff in-game like wand locations. I was also part of the Wiki team when Zulg set it up and have put in some FAQs here on the Diku-Wiki but out of the woodwork always comes someone who says I suck and don't know shit. Rawvos' demand of his sect for locations was actually planned to help others, since I said I'd give the compiled list to those in the Elite spot but I never got to it since his life ended early. A/B/S is obviously a personal frustration of mine....but anyways that's for another subject.

So there you go. I fucked up, I'm an asshat, I'm sorry and I'm trying. Ten plus years and it still follows me around. Flame away if you want to but as much as it sounds like I'm a total jerk online I'm really not attempting to and I think I'm going to stop posting as much as I do because of it. Sometimes silence is just the best approach.

Peace.