The people that make this game such a big part of their life naturally build relationships (both good and bad). I don't think anyone can reasonably expect people to keep all interactions IC. People are going to make friends. People are going to talk to each other and share secrets. None of that is inherently bad for the game.
Lying about it I get - I've done things that I would lie about if asked. It's life. Hypocrisy bugs me though. If you're guilty of something, don't talk down to people for doing the same thing.
Honestly though, I'm more concerned about the people who care so strongly that they're willing to track down people at their work places, or hack into the ultra-secure phorum software just to embarrass someone or make their life difficult. Those are the people making this a toxic environment. Someone that's chatting with a buddy isn't.