Lightning axe is female only, but for some reason I don't think the spear actually is.
Female only gear includes
certain dresses (bloody wedding, pristine white, robe in Velkyn, thin silver)
daggers from sirine island
Black veil
Lightning Axes
A certain pair of leggings might be.
Two of those dresses and the veil are pretty nice, but nothing else is really any better than any other gear you can get with ease.
And that's about it that I can think of off the top of my head.
However male only has the Coronation mantle which is a pretty good piece of gear.