Just because someone (for whatever reason) enjoys some of the more frustrating aspects of the game doesn't indicate that they, themselves, are into giving other players grief.
For example, the scenario that you describe doesn't bother me at all and I'm hardly a griefer. Shit, I probably get looted vs. looting at a ratio of about 50:1 items.
Some of us are just masochists or enjoy the challenges of the game. (Considering how challenging I find the game in general, I think I'm just a masochist.)
And just for the record, if your group of three can't take on a single challenger, there's more in play than gear.