Rise from the dung, my Orc-kin. Stand and shake the soot and drool from yourselves, it is time. The Chief has scheduled an especially populated orgy for today and plans to impregnate all of his Sow, meaning that there is a fresh batch of young orclings coming in to this world........Join them.

While joining the Clan might not be the most difficult thing, I know that plenty of you will be fretting over which adaptation to choose. It's easy. When you're bashing an elf, what are you having trouble with? Ask yourself that, and then choose.

Scream your warcry, rape your sow, and bleed Thera dry.
Don't rest until every cabal item is held by Tremblefist.
Don't rest until every warrior chooses Greeting as one of their Legacies, simply out of fear.
Don't rest until it becomes common to see Elf dagger/Sunrise warriors.
It's time.
Let's do this.






***Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead,***
is purely coincidental.


Why not adapt and become a Mamlauk, knocking the daggers from our Elf-enemies and THEN bashing them to death?






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Why not, instead, be a Shig-ru? Focus entirely on being a true berserker - Oh, and punt gnomes, because that's just funny shit.




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If you're one of those faggots who whines about "I can't play dumb characters, I can't play stupid characters, I can't play illiterate characters because I'M SO SMART. It's too foreign to act dumb", first know that everyone knows it's total bullshit. Second - Why not make a Mundugnu?






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If none of those are your cup of tea, and you instead want to focus on bashing the new staff-spec Paladins.......Why not play the most Kobold'esque of orcs, the Skrugga? Fuck Invokers over by evading area spells, and then bash the shit out of them.





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It's obvious, just from looking through the adaptations. Orcs are fucking awesome. You could be a sailor orc, gay orc, girl orc, bash-orc, orcorc, orc bagork, Krilcov orc, ANYTHING - And not just that. Orc RP is some of the most sincere RP that can be found in all of CF. Who else is entirely justified to gang, full loot, and then emote sex with a corpse? Who else could you find emoting in all caps ( Orc HITS YOU REAL HARD ON HEAD.) ? Ask any Cabal, they ALL want more Orcs around. The fortress needs more enemies, the Tribunal needs more criminals, the Scions need more allies, the Empire needs an orc-lich, the Outlanders are getting bored and definitely need some more people to gang, and even the Nexus thinks that Orcs are needed for their gay Balance.

Orcs are looking pretty sexy..............ARE YOU?


[diku.qhcf.net]










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If bashing isn't your thing, and neither are orcs, why not be a helpful little Drow? Instead of leading the bash-thirsty charge, help hasten the Orcs from behind. An Orc death-squad is good, but a hasted Orc death-squad is gay. And gay is what we want to be, isn't it?
So, assuming you prefer Magi over orcs, ROLL UP A DROW TRANSMUTER! Assume you actually work with the Clan and are entirely helpful, don't forget that the Clan WILL pay you back! Assuming you're a Scion Drow Transmuter who regularly hastes duh big chief: As soon as the Fortress raids you, use this simple guide to defend!!!!:
1) Type TELL
2) Type the name of a current orc
3) Type THE FORT-GAY-TRESS IS HERE, and they aren't being bashed.
4) Sit back and grin as you screen changes from "Fortress member #X is raiding the cabal!" to "HELP! ORC#314 IS BASHING ME!".

An example of a highly successful Drow transmuter with an orc: