Marcus "Dyrus" Hill is a pro League of Legends player for the North American team TSM, or Team SoloMid. He's a top-lane player, half-Chinese, half-Scandinavian behemoth whose expression wavers from blank as a check to a Kobe rape victim (80%) to laughing Buddha (19%) to aggravated stone giant with hemorrhoids (Jane's Addiction). He's one of the best in the business, and my personal favorite player since I started watching him dunk people with Jarvan in Season 1 on the then-newly-minted Twitch TV. He's humble, creative with his play, and quietly brilliant as an e-sports pro and as a person. That old Douglas Adams line about how humans talk incessantly because if they shut their mouths, their brains start working? It applies here in great measure.

That guy looks enough like Dyrus to make the association.

[i.ytimg.com]

The crusty sock bit is the part where Dyrus has to pull out of certain cosplay girls and wipe an entire new civilization's worth of himself off of his chest with a gray gym sock (we miss you, Bill Hicks). Said sock (not sad-sack) then could be stolen and brought to a lab, where persistent swimmers might just make it into a procured ovum. The intervening travel and spoilage might account for why Dyrus is awesome and that... "guy"... is... well....ahem.

TSM TSM TSM TSM BAYLIFE NIGGA FUCK IT

*ahem*

I was going to stuff a couple more completely esoteric references in there because they make my nipples hard, but the bonus is that it makes Matrik angry at me. That also, in case you wondered, makes all six of my non-milkers stand at attention like brand new #2 pencil erasers in a deep freeze.

*mic drop*



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 09/29/2014 12:57AM by The Faithful of Nazmorghul.