1. Nothing says you have to spend 50 hours spamming. At least, you don't have to spend 50 hours doing stuff that <i>only</i> results in skill gains. That is, unless you're trying to level sit. If not, you can (depending on class) solo rank. This tends to juice your skills, plus you get some levels out of it. Or you can take a more pragmatic approach: rank with a group when there's a group to be had, otherwise rank solo. Either way you're not "wasting time" spamming.

2. If you felt like you had to "manipulate" other characters into getting a cabal recommendation, and we're not talking about Scion, then that's coming from <i>you</i> and needn't be the case. I have a role that lends itself to a cabal, then I talk to current cabal members and just act like my character would act. Nothing manipulative about it, except perhaps that I chose a role that would lend itself to a particular cabal. (Which is pretty par for the course.)

3. I have no idea what classes you typically play, but one with hide / camo / treeform / chameleon might go a long way towards mitigating your complaints. Especially when solo ranking its nice to be able to conceal yourself while resting. And it makes it harder for groups to gank you. (Excepting of course the situation where the would-be gankers can see past your concealment skill).

4. Maybe try playing a religious goodie. If you can get into the mindset that you're "fighting the good fight", then death doesn't sting as much. Less so, I think, than when you're a guy trying to be an evil badass. Getting killed sort of puts a dent in your ability to view yourself as a "badass".