In order to be (properly) good aligned, you need to be doing actions to benefit others at the expense of yourself.
In order to be (properly) evil aligned, you need to be doing actions which harm others to the benefit of yourself.
In order to be (properly) neutral aligned, you need to be doing actions based on a set of beliefs which don't readily lend themselves to the above scenarios (law, for instance, or nature or balance - all of which don't fit into the sacrifice/exploit spectrum by themselves).
If I kill your dark-elf and your dark-elf is actually misplaying a dark-elf, that doesn't make my roleplay bad ;). Stop viewing it as teams, it's not about being nice to other dark-elves or nice to elves it's about whether or not your actions are beneficial others or yourself and if you happen to be playing a dark-elf who is acting in the best interests of everyone besides himself that just means you're not playing a dark-elf properly and according to canon (and you should face an align change and the penalties that come with it).