I can't really participate in this year's event, but I'll share the methodology I employed in 2004-2005. I stand about 5'11", and prior to the aforementioned year, I weighed in at an extremely unhealthy 305 lb. Now granted, my method was somewhat extreme, and involved a change in activity level, not only in everyday life, but in my working as well. The plan? Here goes.

1. Move to the desert.

Okay, most people can't realistically do this at the drop of a hat, but it works. In hindsight, I would guess that simply the amount of water intake did quite a bit for me, but the desert can also do magical things for you if you're willing to work for it.

2. Work outside.

Second job, first job, extra part-time, whatever. Get something that makes you money while you exercise. I chose pressure-washing car lots in New Mexico, running a shammy (no, not Drucyrus) over cars, which with the speed of execution and bending, walking and twisting, makes for a great calisthenics routine (not to mention the early-morning hours before the sun gets TOO hot).

3. Diet.

Here again, I went to extremes. It was time to drop the extra person I was carrying in my ass and stomach, since my dodging just wasn't up to snuff with all the weight I was carrying. You want to know the secret diet everyone can use? Here you go:

a. Fish.

All the major animal-based nutrients your body needs, including many you can't get anywhere else in similar quantity. People will say things about Omega-3's, Vitamin E, and such, and they're probably right. Hella protein, low fats, and the fats you DO get are the "good fats". Here again I went to extremes, in that I only prepared and ate broiled fish, never fried. Some lemon, basil, garlic and butter make salmon or tilapia a fantastic centerpiece to dinner. Bake at 350 degrees until the fish is firm but splits and flakes easily in solid pieces when poked or cut. You can go by the color of it, but the texture never lies. If the fish is still spongy and doesn't spring back from pressure, it probably needs more time.

b. Rice.

Here we find a carbohydrate which many people will tell you inhibits weight loss. However, the term carbohydrate is misleading when applied to rice. If you're going hardcore, pick up some organic brown rice, throw some diced tomatoes in it, add black pepper, boom, done. I used simple, long grain white rice, and since my blood pressure wasn't a consideration, I used quite a bit of soy sauce. Lower-sodium soy sauce is out there, and it ain't THAT bad. With a nice rice cooker, you can leave steamed white rice sitting on your counter top covered all day long, and just grab a bowl with the sauce of your choice when hunger strikes. Rice is a simple carb, one that in my experience satisfies hunger, but quickly and efficiently passes through the digestive system. It's also high in iron, which can help your exercise regimen and the increased demand on your body for available energy.

c. Broccoli.

Okay, most vegetables will do just fine, but I chose broccoli for 1) the amount of fiber you get, 2) you can eat large amounts of it and never gain a pound, and 3) it soaks up flavor very well. I'd toss it in the oven pan with my fish when the fish was very nearly done, and the lemon-basil butter soaks right up into those florets. You might think the butter/margarine intake negates some of the nutritional value, but remember that so far the only fats you're eating are the ones in the fish. If you get some engineered vegetable oil in your body, it's not going to kill you. Besides, eating citrus with meals aids digestion. Put lemon on everything and see how your guts feel after a week. (put lemon in your water, also).


That's the overall outline. There's some definite peripheral factors, like the fact that I drank water, more water, some water, a shit-ton of water, and then I'd usually have some water after that. Water simply makes you lose weight. Soda, on the other hand, makes you fat as hell. I ditched soda entirely and embraced water completely. The combination of fiber from rice and broccoli and large amounts of water will QUICKLY drive much of the undigested matter (average American contains 6-10 POUNDS of red meat in their intestines) through your system and out the back end. This won't be pleasant, and you'll have some odor issues, but it's worth it in overall health benefit.

I adapted this scheme, and over the course of approximately nine to ten months I went from 305 pounds to 185. I don't recommend this for everyone, as losing that much weight can have serious impacts on your health in general. Remember, however, that I exercised vigorously EVERY DAY for a minimum of four hours, generally. That's where your outside-job is the key. The result? I do have stretch-marks in random areas, though they're hard to see, but I didn't suffer any loose skin, atrophied muscle, or other negative side effects that people encounter when losing weight with pills or surgeries. If you're really serious about it, it can be done- I'm living proof. Looking back at pictures of my sister's wedding, I could have comfortably eaten three of my current self and moved on to the dessert tray. In fact, I think I had a dream like that once. Yuck.


There's the Biggest Loser story from ylurT sruoY,

The Faithful of Nazmorghul


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