Now dont get me wrong I am not of a freak or gay or anything of the like, but I found out though conversation with my family that really I am the outed child. Basically I have always been the different child, my family is VERY sociable, like very very and I am not for some reason. I like to have conversations with people and such but I do suck at it, really I have no social ediquite (sp? not that I really care) I dont know why but groups of people just bother me, and to be sociable to them is even worse. Well at any rate my wife has been telling me for years that my family is rather cruel and they really dont care for me. Me being a dumbass and very naive to their ways never thought much of it, but tonight after talking to my Mom, Dad, Sister and brother ( I called them all out of the blue because I am feeling rather depressed, Dont ask me why but suicide is sounding rather nice at the moment, I just hate my life currently, I love my wife and three kids dont get me wrong but otherwise I just cant stand how my life has turned out, I will be lower-middle class with nothing really to show for the rest of my life, my only out is my wonderfull kids grow up to be something of the great but even then it really means I didnt do shit but happen to be the sperm of great kids) And lo and behold they all were like dying to get off the phone with me, they normally dont even talk to me or my wife that much other than the rare ocassion to go visit my Grandmother who is completely bonkers and should be in a home but no one has the guts to put her there for her stubborness and really the woman can get along just great by herself but she is completely insane ( a devout christan the would never harm anyone or herelf but just talking to her ANYONE would know she is off her rocker) Anywhoo like I said I am just in a rut, I hate myself to an utter end, I love my wife and kids but really do I want their memories to be of a father that was a complete loser that did nothing but work at a dead end job and did nothing much else (like vacations, camping, fishing, etc.....) because we cant afford much else? I am just ranting and wont do anything to myself but after the calls and such tonight I found out my wife was right all this time, my family sees me and treats me as the odd child out. If I would (though I wont because I may hate myself and the little I have to offer, but I have to see my kids grow up, hell even see some grandchildren if that comes about) just kill myself I doubt my biological family would really care, they would show up to the funeral no doubt, hell even gain some attention pure pity and such but really they could give a shit less. Yes they told me in a round about way that much tonight, kinda like WTF? dude! just shut the hell up.
That being said I was wondering how do I go about clearing myself of my biological family, I want them to gain nothing if I were to die (again by some for=see able accident, I am not about to do anything myself) hell I dont even want them notified. Basically I want them out of my life as much as they want mine out of theirs, my wife was completely right all this time, I love her more for it but I seriously do not want to be part of the Doe family (made up last name,Duh, thus I kinda know a few people here and would rather them not contact my family of this, internet can be wonderfull and shitty at the same time) any suggestions and what I should be doing or looking for to do so? I have many friends in a state thousands of miles away for North Dakota and my wife is willing to go to the ends of the earth (seriously I got lucky, sometimes I may bitch about many things about her, heck even her limiting the time I play CF, she is comlete luck on my part for finding her though) to have us together and happy. I am just done with my biological family, fuck them all, any suggestions? Any thoughts and or comments would be most welcome, though I may find what I need via internet (see, wonderfull and shitty at the same time) to get the fuck out of dodge.
